Monday, March 19, 2012

Fredd's got 'the blues'

Check out the voting by county map of the 2004 presidential race: a few specks of Democrat blue here and there, but if one were pressed to pick the color of the country, everybody would say 'red,' hands down.

But if we all recall, this race 8 years ago was a close one, won by George W. Bush with the swing state of Ohio going to him by just a hair.  Despite nearly 85% of the physical dirt in the country being beet red.

It's this map that's got me singing the 'blues.'  I currently live in Illinois, and if you look at how the county vote went in this election, you would think that this state is rock solid conservative red. 

Nope.  Not even close.  About half the population of the state lives in Cook county, and in this most crooked (as detailed in a recent survey) county in the U.S., I believe there's a law against being a Republican.  And I also believe that if convicted in Cook county of siding with GOP interests, there's jail time involved, and perhaps a public beating or caning at a minimum.

As Cook county goes, so goes the rest of the state.  Illinois hasn't had a Republican majority in the state senate or legislature in my lifetime (and I'm no spring chicken, let me tell you).  And as a deep, dark blue county, which wags the rest of the nearly totally red state, Democrats led by the corrupt Daley machine and now the corrupt Rahm Emanuel machine, taxing and spending is how Democrats have retained power for generations.  They have spent us into the poor house, and Illinois along with California are now among the most bankrupt of states in the U.S.

Our former governor Rod Blagojevich just got slammed into the  federal pokey a few days ago, and he was more crooked than most Democrats, but that is not saying much.  Under his watch, the public pensions have run amok, are totally underfunded by billions, and the current governor (Rod's lieutenant governor) Pat Quinn is borrowing additional billions to keep these bankrupting public pensions afloat.

Nobody in Illinois politics knows how to spell the word 'cut,' much less have a rudimentary understanding of how to live within the state's means.  And it ain't going to get better anytime soon.  The blue staters have an iron grip on power, and they aim to keep it regardless of the impending debt disaster looming over all of us Illini in the near future.

I just keep looking at that map: I have lived in Oregon, Virginia, California and Illinois most of my life and the story is the same with them all: beet red, most of the square miles of those states, but blue-est of blue Democrats seem to always spend those states into oblivion, despite being surrounded in a sea of red.

It's got me singing the blues, I tell ya.....

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Conservatives have a patriotic duty to pay $6.00/gallon for gas

Yes, you read that correctly: it is our patriotic duty as American conservatives to buck up, bite the bullet and dig deep, deep down into our skinny wallets and cough up $6.00 per gallon for gasoline perhaps as early as the Labor Day weekend (and two months before election day).

I say this because there is no other single solitary motivating factor that will sink an incumbent president than John Q. Public getting gouged at the gas pump.  This assault on our wallets is not isolated to only rich, racist homophobic, intolerant Republicans. 

Far from it.

The dumbest, most imbecilic Democrat voter who makes a bag of hammers look like Einstein is screaming bloody murder even now at a measly $3.83 per gallon, when he has to pop for a full tank of gas to the tune of $70 or more.  Even though Obama has all of this hope and change going for him in the minds of these dumb Democrats, high gas prices hit home with everybody, regardless of party affiliation. 

Most Americans know the basics of oil supply and the prices of gasoline: the more oil out there, the  lower the prices.  Every action the Obama regime has taken so far has blocked increasing the domestic supply of oil, he has restricted drilling in the Gulf, has issued no new drilling leases on federal lands, and incredibly has blocked the construction of the Keystone pipeline that would transfer millions of barrels of oil from Canada to Texas. 

All of these moves to block oil exploration, discovery and extraction are factors in jacking up the price of gas at the pump, and even the dumbest of the dumb Democrats can see it.  There's no spinning what everybody faces each time they pull up to the pump: Obama is causing gas prices to skyrocket.

And with gas at $6/gallon, he will lose to whatever GOP candidate is on the ballot in November in an historic landslide of epic proportions.  With Obama destroying the economy and what is left of our country the way it was founded, any patriot worth his salt should support his ouster, at any cost.

And we conservatives want to ensure this eventuality, since nothing we say or do about any other issue will sway Democrats more than this single solitary fact: $6/gallon gas is a death blow to any incumbent in the White House. 

Even Barrack Hussein Obama.  It is our patriotic duty to see to it that Obama goes down in a landslide, and if it takes paying $6/gallon for gas, then I will cough it up all the while singing 'God Bless America.'

Then once a responsible adult (any GOP warm body) assumes the Oval Office, and starts doing the right things regarding oil prices, watch as prices plummet much like Obama's current approval ratings.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

'Women's Studies' essay test

Please answer the following in essay form.  If your answers in any way suggests that patriarchal transgressors receive less than 5 years in a federal penitentiary, please explain your erroneous thought process in detail.

1.  A hard working woman does not get a promotion at her company, managed by evil patriarchal men who obviously have a gender bias in all management decisions.  The position went to a man, who by definition got the job because of gender bias.  Please explain which course of action the aggrieved woman should take: A) sue the biased patriarchal management in civil court for a minimum of $5,000,000 for sexual discrimination, or B) sue the biased evil patriarchal management in criminal court for sexual harassment.

2.  A hard working woman notices at her oppressive place of employment that while the women's restroom facility is labeled 'ladies', the opposite sex's facility is only labeled 'men', instead of a sign that correctly identifies the users of such facilities as 'patriarchal sexist pigs'.  Should the aggrieved woman: A) sue the patriarchal sexist pig management for $5,000,000 in civil court for encouraging a hostile work environment, or B) sue the pigs in criminal court for sexual harassment.

3.  A hard working woman overhears a male co-worker talking about the sewer construction outside their office building, and hears the chauvinist pig mention a 'manhole cover,' clearly a derogatory term applied to such a device as to demean women, instead of correctly calling it a 'personhole cover.' Should the aggrieved woman: A) file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to compel the male chauvinist pig to attend sensitivity training, or B) sue the company in civil court for $5,000,000 for encouraging a hostile work environment, or C) consult with a women's issue attorney to determine if the offending male chauvinist pig co-worker is subject to a criminal indictment, and accordingly seek imprisonment for the filthy scumbag. 

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here.  Please select only one of the alternatives listed in your answer, explain in detail why you support that alternative, and when you are through turn your papers in to Professor Mallory Stikituem.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Math test for liberals

Please answer the following math problems designed for the compassionate, caring and informed portion of the American public (also known as progressives or liberals).  Answers are below:

1.  If John has a welfare check in the amount of $577.83, Mary has a food stamp debit card with a $1,118.06 balance, and Bill has an unemployment check of $683.74, and they pooled their resources towards the purchase of the American Dream car, the Chevrolet Volt, what would be the balance due on their Chevy Volt if they applied their money as a down payment on the total value of the car of $46,855.90?

2.  By shutting down an evil polluting coal fired electric power plant in Springfield which powered 2,000 households, and diverting irrigation water from 75,000 acres of farmland in River City in order to save an endangered minnow's threatened habitat, how many citizens are  now free to move about the country in search of their dreams, instead of killing the earth with pollution and killing off Gaia's helpless creatures by their wicked human activities?

3.  Community A raised property taxes on all households with incomes above $74,250.00 (widely considered rich, and therefore evil) to 50% on each assessed dollar of property value.  According to the County assessor's office, doing so would generate $5 Billion dollars in additional revenue.  In a school district of 7,000 enrolled children, how many free breakfasts (that cost the district $9 per meal), lunches (that cost the district $15 per meal) and dinners (that cost the district $22 per meal) are now available to previously starving and wretched kids, now that all of this excess money that the rich evil people don't need has been wisely diverted into a deserving program?


1.  This question is tricky, but for the savvy among us progressives, the answer is clear: Mary's food stamp card is not technically eligible to fund non-food related activities.  But since the purchase will assist in saving the environment, all parties to this transaction will look the other way and condone the application of the entire balance to this worthwhile purchase that will save us all in the long run.

2.  The number of freed souls released to pursue happiness instead of evil is irrelevant: what is important is that the evil of pollution and killing of Gaia's creatures has been thwarted by good intentions.  That is all that matters in this question. 

3.  The information is incomplete in this question to form an answer.  Now that children are fed breakfast lunch and dinner, they really have no need to come home during the week, and accordingly additional funds must be obtained (presumably by raising the tax assessment to 75% of each dollar of property value from those rich SOB's) so that barracks can be built on the school site to accommodate the children during the school week.  They can visit their parents on weekends, but it might be brought up at the next school board meeting on extending the food program to the weekends as well.