Obama joke of the week

Cletus went to the neurosurgeon to have his brain checked out, since it didn't seem to work right. He told the neurosurgeon, 'Doc, I just cain't seem to thank ('think') right, kin you hep me?'

The neurosurgeon, after thoroughly examining Cletus said, 'yes, just as I suspected, Cletus. You need a new brain. I can schedule you for a brain transplant next week. All you need to do is choose which kind of brains you want to use to replace your rotten brains.'

Cletus, somewhat stunned at the prognosis, asked 'whaddaya mean, what kind o' brains? Is they more than one kind?'

The neurosurgeon patiently explained, 'yes, Cletus. If you want to use the brains of people who voted for George W. Bush, those go for $1,000.00 per ounce. If you wanted to use the brains of people who voted for John McCain, those brains are $2,000.00 per ounce. And Obama voter brains, those are $1,000,000.00 (1 million) per ounce.'

Cletus gasped: 'A million bucks, for an ounce of Obama voter brains, why so much, Doc?'

Again, the neurosurgeon patiently explained to a slow thinking Cletus, 'Obama voter brains are extremely expensive for a simple reason, Cletus. Do you realize how many Obama voters we would have to harvest to yield just a single ounce of brains?'

(rim shot inserted here.)

America's 'Cargo Cult' Administration

A few years ago, Dan Jacoby wrote a piece criticizing President George W. Bush as trying to emulate Ronald Reagan, without any knowledge as to how Reagan operated. Jacoby referred to Bush as the "Cargo Cult President." This piece was retrofitted to our current president a few months ago as the summary of it was covered on the Rush Limbaugh show, and that particular comparison was much more accurate than the original Jacoby piece in 2004.

I believe it would be fair and accurate to extend this comparison to Obama's entire administration, as he and all of his advisers have virtually no real life experience in capitalism, and yet want all its goodies to magically appear if they simply go through the motions, all the while they demonize the very system that provides their coveted yet elusive prosperity.

If you are not familiar with the term 'cargo cult,' it refers to the primitive native peoples in the Pacific Islands and remote areas whose territories were pressed into service during WWII to service the U.S. Pacific Fleet, in addition to the Japanese Imperial Navy. These native people would watch as these foreigners (both Japanese and American troops) moved in, and subsequently build landing strips and control towers. Then as if by magic, planes would land on these strips full of food, water, supplies, gasoline, clothing, etc. Much of it would be distributed to the indigenous populations in addition to serving the war effort.

After the war ended, these foreigners left, and so did all of their goodies. Not wanting to interrupt this gravy train, the natives would ape the behaviors of those foreigners in hopes of making the magic planes arrive again. They would build bamboo 'control towers,' clear rudimentary, crude 'landing strips' out of the jungle, and talk into crude 'microphones', hoping that this behavior would entice the goodies to reappear, but in reality they had absolutely no understanding of the actual nature of where all these goodies came from. They had to assume it came from out of the sky, (presumably from the 'gods' ). These cults persisted in mimicking these behaviors for years and in some cases decades after the shipments ended.

Obama and his staff, cabinet and czars all are behaving in much the same way as these 'cargo cults' did, aping the soaring rhetoric of public figures of the past, such as FDR, Reagan, and Clinton, without having even a basic understanding of free market capitalism. Obama clearly seems unfazed to his profligate spending on social programs as to where all of these trillions of dollars are eventually going to come from: 'the gods', maybe.

Obama and his administration have no experience generating capital, creating jobs, meeting payrolls and all other tasks involved in creating wealth. Obama himself, along with his entire cabinet are products of academia, where Utopian philosophies and untried or impractical (but nice sounding) theories abound. None of them will ever work, nor ever have worked if implemented anywhere, but they continue to foist these foolish pie in the sky policies (unfunded) on our system, to be paid in real dollars, and not phony pie in the sky dollars, by our grand and great grand children.

These dreamers are simple fools who somehow have taken control of our country, and now are governing much like a 'cargo cult:' aping the behaviors (or more accurately, the rhetoric) of past leaders, without understanding the philosophy and capitalistic efforts behind them, and yet genuinely hoping for prosperity that will never come.

It didn't work for any of those 'cargo cults,' either, but some still persist waiting for the gods to shower them with cases of C-rations, just like the good old days.

Socialism is crashing and burning in front of us

The economies of Greece, Spain, Italy, the UK and others are on the brink of collapse within the European Union right in front of our eyes. Socialism is a catastrophic failure as an economic system. The proof is right in front of us, and I would bet that the majority of those who voted for Barack Obama refuse to connect the dots.

Those Obama voters, who have as many TV sets as the rest of us, watch the riots, and listen to Wolf Blitzer describe the mayhem without mentioning the true cause of all of this discord: liberal socialist leaders will promise anything to anyone to get a vote. And because usually promises of anything other than money go largely ignored, then the promise of money is what most always gets the vote. This is Barack Obama's vision of a Utopian America: where the government gives everybody money, and they in turn keep Democrats in power forever. Right out of "Das Kapital,' Marx's recipe for the government to take control of the private sector and make everything the public sector.

To keep from suffering the backlash when eventually there's no more money to shovel out to the masses, these leaders have to muddy the waters, divert attention from what has gotten all of us in trouble and create demons: the banks, the opposition, the owners of the means of production such as Big Oil, Big Pharma, Big Wall Street, Big This and Big That. In other words, the evil capitalists. More accurately, the problems can be falsely pinned on (in the words of their philosophical leader Karl Marx) the 'Bourgeoisie' (pronounced bush'-WAH-zee', for you Obama voters in New York, Illinois, Michigan and California).

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And who are these liberal socialist leaders aiming their demonizing rhetoric at? Their constituents who are the recipients of their redistribution schemes, or the 'Proletarians.' .

Does any of this sound familiar? It is the stuff that failed in the former Soviet Union, the stuff that failed in China, the stuff that failed in Cuba, this is the philosophy that has failed everywhere it's ever been tried. But don't expect the Proles to buy into that reality. As long as the government checks clear, whether the government check was written to a government union worker, a welfare recipient, a social security recipient, or a food stamp redeemer, it won't matter as long as those checks keep coming.

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What is as frustrating me is that these mooching slackers don't care or even bother to give it a moment's thought as to where the money is coming from. The don't give a damn about the source of their government checks ('Obama's stash,' as one lost soul in Detroit put it). The truth is that it comes from the private sector, every nickel of it, all of it. And if they expect to retire from the public sector at age 49 with a six figure pension for the rest of their lives, they can think again.

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What they are watching on TV in Greece will be in their own front yard sooner than they think, because it has reached the point where, in the words of the late great Margaret Thatcher, we have run out of other people's money.

No amount of rioting in Greece will turn dirt into gold

These socialists in Greece are now getting it: with Socialism, eventually you run out of other people's money. The dolts that were promised retirement at age 50 with 120% of their salaries for ever and ever are now getting a dose of reality. Despite the promises from the socialists they elected that they would live their golden years in opulent bliss, paid for by everyone else, they now riot to protest the new reality that they will be living their golden years in their children's basement - and that is not a solid bet, since these very same socialist free spending Greeks already spent their children's and grand children's money. .

Right now, the Greeks are going through the various stages of mourning: first, they ignored the fact that their economy was collapsing (denial). Now, they are beyond denial and are at the angry stage, hence the riots.

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When the chickens come home to roost, everyone is shocked, SHOCKED that such a thing could happen. And Americans are looking at their future on the TV screen right now as the mobs scream for their promised gold, which has been gone for a long time. When it comes time for Geraldo Rivera to open up that vault door, and the TV cameras zoom in, the Greeks will find that instead of the tons and tons of gold their leaders promised them, there is nothing inside that vault that was plundered by their leaders for generations; nothing but dirt.

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Reality sucks, sometimes. Especially when you realize that you have been duped your entire life by socialists that Socialism works. We have breaking news for Greece, Italy, Portugal and Spain (and the US): Socialism doesn't work.

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Eventually you run out of everyone else's money.

Worst garbage ever seen on Network TV

There are those of you who would argue that EVERYTHING seen on network television (ABC, CBS and NBC) these days is garbage, and of course your argument has validity. But there's always the worst of the worst, as some garbage seen on TV is just so awful, it rates mention: 10. ALL DAY TIME PROGRAMMING. Call them your 'stories,' or more popularly these days 'soaps,' this is the stuff that is simply unwatchable by even those of us with poor taste in what we call entertainment. They all follow the same plot and are filmed in only three locations: in the living room of an opulent mansion (all soap opera characters are filthy rich, you see), in a hospital room or in a jail cell. No other set is needed for filming a soap opera. And we won't go into how awful the writing and production are on the run of the mill soap, nor what God awful actors populate the soap stages these days. 9. CAVEMAN. This poorly conceived ABC drek was a take off on the mildly amusing GEICO ads depicting modern day Neanderthals taking offense at advertising which suggests they are dumb. 13 episodes were filmed, and thankfully the series was cancelled after only 6 were aired. One can only view so many caveman gags before wanting to barf. What were the producers thinking when they cobbled this terrible idea together?

8. THE BACHELOR. I just can't believe this horrible program is going into its 14th season since debuting in 2002. Just how dumb do viewers have to be to watch this garbage? That was a rhetorical question, BTW.

7. MY MOTHER THE CAR. On the whole, Jerry Van Dyke is a pretty funny guy, and his character 'Luther Van Dam' on 'Coach' was memorable. His role in this dreadful show (which lasted an entire season) stank to high heaven, as the premise of the show featured the voice of Ann Southern as his reincarnated mother who came back as an antique car. Just what in God's name were the producers thinking when they hatched this dog? Again, a rhetorical question. The answer: there was no thinking go on in that room.

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6. COP ROCK. Imagine, New York's finest busting down a door, cuffing the perps, and then things just seemed perfect in the writer's mind to insert a Broadway style show tune while dragging away the dirt bags to the hoosegow. With luck, whoever came up with this idea was run out of show biz. Nope, Steven Bochco went on after this to produce LA Law and NYPD Blue, and most of us forgot this pig of a show (except me).

5. PETTICOAT JUNCTION. Rural folks acting stupid in Hooterville, and let the laughs begin. Or more accurately, the laugh track was dubbed in. Really bad writing for a sit com, and for whatever reason it lasted 7 long, horrible years.

4. GREEN ACRES. A 'Petticoat Junction' spin-off. What a nightmare this show was, starring Eddie Arnold and Eva Gabor as fish out of water urbanites who buy a farm and let the laughs begin. Since these two shows were virtually joined at the hip since they were concocted by the same Hollywood idiot, I figure I could reuse a phrase or two and get away with it.

3. THREE'S COMPANY. John Ritter pretends to be gay while rooming with two babes, thus fooling the dimwit landlord. It just doesn't get any better, huh? And this one lasted 7 years as well, and nobody in Hollywood could figure out why.

2. B.J. AND THE BEAR. Lovable truck driver hangs out with a chimpanzee, and let the laughs begin. OK, I'll use another line next time. But this one stinks, and it's not just the chimp.

1. JOANIE LOVES CHACHI. Spin off from 'Happy Days,' but was short lived for good cause: the spin off came right after Henry Winkler's 'Fonzie' jumped the shark in the waning weeks of 'Happy Days', and most folks were pretty darn sick of Joanie by then, not to mention Chachi. This one was put to death quickly, but they could have done it sooner if you ask me.