No amount of rioting in Greece will turn dirt into gold

These socialists in Greece are now getting it: with Socialism, eventually you run out of other people's money. The dolts that were promised retirement at age 50 with 120% of their salaries for ever and ever are now getting a dose of reality. Despite the promises from the socialists they elected that they would live their golden years in opulent bliss, paid for by everyone else, they now riot to protest the new reality that they will be living their golden years in their children's basement - and that is not a solid bet, since these very same socialist free spending Greeks already spent their children's and grand children's money. .

Right now, the Greeks are going through the various stages of mourning: first, they ignored the fact that their economy was collapsing (denial). Now, they are beyond denial and are at the angry stage, hence the riots.

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When the chickens come home to roost, everyone is shocked, SHOCKED that such a thing could happen. And Americans are looking at their future on the TV screen right now as the mobs scream for their promised gold, which has been gone for a long time. When it comes time for Geraldo Rivera to open up that vault door, and the TV cameras zoom in, the Greeks will find that instead of the tons and tons of gold their leaders promised them, there is nothing inside that vault that was plundered by their leaders for generations; nothing but dirt.

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Reality sucks, sometimes. Especially when you realize that you have been duped your entire life by socialists that Socialism works. We have breaking news for Greece, Italy, Portugal and Spain (and the US): Socialism doesn't work.

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Eventually you run out of everyone else's money.

Worst garbage ever seen on Network TV

There are those of you who would argue that EVERYTHING seen on network television (ABC, CBS and NBC) these days is garbage, and of course your argument has validity. But there's always the worst of the worst, as some garbage seen on TV is just so awful, it rates mention: 10. ALL DAY TIME PROGRAMMING. Call them your 'stories,' or more popularly these days 'soaps,' this is the stuff that is simply unwatchable by even those of us with poor taste in what we call entertainment. They all follow the same plot and are filmed in only three locations: in the living room of an opulent mansion (all soap opera characters are filthy rich, you see), in a hospital room or in a jail cell. No other set is needed for filming a soap opera. And we won't go into how awful the writing and production are on the run of the mill soap, nor what God awful actors populate the soap stages these days. 9. CAVEMAN. This poorly conceived ABC drek was a take off on the mildly amusing GEICO ads depicting modern day Neanderthals taking offense at advertising which suggests they are dumb. 13 episodes were filmed, and thankfully the series was cancelled after only 6 were aired. One can only view so many caveman gags before wanting to barf. What were the producers thinking when they cobbled this terrible idea together?

8. THE BACHELOR. I just can't believe this horrible program is going into its 14th season since debuting in 2002. Just how dumb do viewers have to be to watch this garbage? That was a rhetorical question, BTW.

7. MY MOTHER THE CAR. On the whole, Jerry Van Dyke is a pretty funny guy, and his character 'Luther Van Dam' on 'Coach' was memorable. His role in this dreadful show (which lasted an entire season) stank to high heaven, as the premise of the show featured the voice of Ann Southern as his reincarnated mother who came back as an antique car. Just what in God's name were the producers thinking when they hatched this dog? Again, a rhetorical question. The answer: there was no thinking go on in that room.

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6. COP ROCK. Imagine, New York's finest busting down a door, cuffing the perps, and then things just seemed perfect in the writer's mind to insert a Broadway style show tune while dragging away the dirt bags to the hoosegow. With luck, whoever came up with this idea was run out of show biz. Nope, Steven Bochco went on after this to produce LA Law and NYPD Blue, and most of us forgot this pig of a show (except me).

5. PETTICOAT JUNCTION. Rural folks acting stupid in Hooterville, and let the laughs begin. Or more accurately, the laugh track was dubbed in. Really bad writing for a sit com, and for whatever reason it lasted 7 long, horrible years.

4. GREEN ACRES. A 'Petticoat Junction' spin-off. What a nightmare this show was, starring Eddie Arnold and Eva Gabor as fish out of water urbanites who buy a farm and let the laughs begin. Since these two shows were virtually joined at the hip since they were concocted by the same Hollywood idiot, I figure I could reuse a phrase or two and get away with it.

3. THREE'S COMPANY. John Ritter pretends to be gay while rooming with two babes, thus fooling the dimwit landlord. It just doesn't get any better, huh? And this one lasted 7 years as well, and nobody in Hollywood could figure out why.

2. B.J. AND THE BEAR. Lovable truck driver hangs out with a chimpanzee, and let the laughs begin. OK, I'll use another line next time. But this one stinks, and it's not just the chimp.

1. JOANIE LOVES CHACHI. Spin off from 'Happy Days,' but was short lived for good cause: the spin off came right after Henry Winkler's 'Fonzie' jumped the shark in the waning weeks of 'Happy Days', and most folks were pretty darn sick of Joanie by then, not to mention Chachi. This one was put to death quickly, but they could have done it sooner if you ask me.

How to Become a Leader of Liberals

Do you ever yearn to become an advocate of your favorite liberal cause? Can you just imagine gripping that bullhorn and blasting away at your nemesis (Republicans) while an adoring yet mindless liberal audience hangs on your every amplified word?

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By following these simple yet important steps, you can realize your dreams of world domination simply by reading on:

STEP 1.

If you aspire to a liberal leadership position, check your integrity, honor and character at the door. There is no value whatsoever in sticking to these antiquated notions within liberal leadership circles. If you find yourself having doubts about the immorality of having to lie, misinform and obfuscate reality in order to advance your cause, simply repeat this phrase: 'The End Justifies the Means.' And of course, by the end, I am referring to obtaining by any means power for you to wield over others. After chanting this phrase three times, in mere moments the urge to come clean with your followers will dissipate and you can continue to lead your mindless liberal flock into the future without the impediment of truth, values and honor to block your efforts. Label all of your political foes (Republicans) as an angry mob of racists, bigots, homophobes and general miscreants, and yet do not hesitate for a moment at stooping to any low (regardless of how low and loathsome low happens to be) to further your ambitions. Remember, hypocrisy is a good thing: always enact legislation that negatively affects others, and have the unmitigated gall to exempt yourself from these adverse consequences of your bad, uh, er I mean fair legislation. At the end of the day, you will sleep like a baby knowing that you yourself will live happily ever after, your constituents be damned.

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STEP 2.

Some liberal leader candidates view their aspirations as the noble management and fair allocation of our nations' scarce resources. Wipe this thought from your mind. This misguided notion of fairness will only get you into trouble going forward in your liberal leadership career. Being a liberal leader is about one thing only; power. Liberal leaders are about power, how to obtain it, how to keep it, and how to wield it for their own gain as well as punishment of their enemies (Republicans). All tactics in the pursuit of power are justified, to include lying, stealing, cheating, manipulation, spreading of misinformation and all other manner of skulduggery. Again, a good phrase for the liberal leader candidate to keep in mind is always 'The End Justifies the Means.' Chant this phase three times when you feel weak. Works every time.

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STEP 3.

Remove all mirrors from your living and working spaces. Since you no longer have any regard for integrity, honor and character as a requirement for aspirations to liberal leadership, it is simply impossible to look yourself in the face seeking any semblance or hint of dignity after affecting all manner of malfeasance in the pursuit of power. On the same token, you must shriek from the mountain tops that your opponents (Republicans) must represent the epitome of honor, character and integrity, despite your complete lack of them. This will endear you to your fellow liberal leaders. Remember to use your bull horn at the top of the mountain, as the echo effects are quite impressive.

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Remember, your adoring liberal constituencies are for the most part brain dead hippies who just want to sit around a commune and sing Kumbaya. You need only know that yelling 'A Chicken in Every Pot,' 'Stick it to the Man' and 'Haliburton!' and most importantly 'It's Bush's Fault!' into your bullhorn as loudly as possible will vault you into the inner circle of liberal power in perpetuity.

How to become a Liberal (it's really easy)

Do you even ponder just what it takes to become one of the cool crowd, but fear that you don't have what it takes to make the transition? I know, many of you often dream of joining those dope smoking, pony tail wearing, no tax payin' loveable hippie types: in common terms, Liberals. Fret no more, my friend, I will fill you in on the process, step by step as to the way to Utopian nirvahnna, and it won't cost you a dime for this priceless information. Simply read on, and you will in no time be a Democrat voting, Iraq War protesting, food stamp redeeming burden to society: STEP ONE: Procure the 'Liberal Kit.' Please note the word 'procure,' was used rather than the term 'buy.' Buying stuff costs money, and money is a thing that all genuine card carrying liberals obtain from others at no cost to themselves. Either mooch, bum or borrow (and never return) this kit, or borrow some money (but never pay it back) to obtain the kit. As a last resort, simply steal it, as the producers of the elements of this kit are rotten capitalist jerks who raped and pillaged the Proletariat and stole their land in order to put up factories to make these items. These companies deserve (and indeed, expect) to be ripped off. Think no more of it, it's the right thing to do. Contained within the kit are essentials that all liberals must have to be considered part of the gang. Before you can start demanding that your fellow man pay for all your wants and needs, you must first don the uniform: 1. Tie dyed T-shirt. This singles the wearer out from the conservative crowd. The louder and gawdier, the better. And you gain bonus points if it has a peace symbol on it, all your liberal buddies will be jealous right away of your increased stature within the liberal hippie community. 2. Bong. For you conservative folks who are desperately trying to become hip and with it, you are unlikely to know what this device is. Please refer to the picture above, but do not attempt to use it until you are properly trained on its nuances by a fellow liberal dead beat. Certain safety procedures must be followed in order to ensure maximum brain damage and the ensuing demented thought process that is critical to liberal thinking. 3. Toyota Prius. Every proud liberal must have one of these tiny little putt-putt cars, in order to show everyone that they are saving the planet. Trust me, you will be saving the planet by driving one, just don't ask me how, that's not important. Again, as mentioned before, mooch the money to buy the Prius from Dad, Mom, Gramma, or whoever you can con into the purchase or lease payments. And of course, never pay them back, that's the liberal way. . STEP TWO: . Learn the lingo. Now that you are wearing your tie dyed T-Shirt (with optional peace symbol upgrade), using your bong and driving your Prius, you think you are one of the gang, now, right? WRONG. You gotta start spewing the slogans without considering their logical meaning. You have to sound like a liberal, not just look like one. Any phony baloney feaux liberal can pop for the liberal kit, but you have to talk the talk, not just walk the walk. Repeat after me: 'Conservatives are evil.' Go ahead, you can do it, now say it with me, 'Conservatives are evil.' See how easily that rolled off the tongue? Now, let's establish some essential phrases that will enable you to sit down in any hippie commune, have a fellow liberal actually pass you the bong and not Bogart it, and listen to the banter on future plans of 'sticking it to the Man.' Practice each sentence until you have learned it without having to think about it: . 1. 'Socialism is not a bad thing.' 2. 'Health care is a right, and not a priveledge.' 3. 'Alger Hiss was innocent.' 4. 'Raise the minimum wage to (fill in the blank here, whatever you think is fair)' 5. 'Impeach Bush.' Well, this one is more of a feel good phrase than of any practical use. 6. 'I don't want to work. I just want to bang on the drum all day.' . Remember, practice makes perfect. Repeat these phrases often and commit them to knee jerk response to any and all suggestions that you should not expect your fellow man to pay your way through life. After all, becoming a liberal is as easy as falling off a log. You don't have to do anything except stick your hand out, and free money will be flowing your way for life. Just kick back in the relative comfort of welfare and stretch out. Make yourself comfortable. Just think of the social safety net that you are now lounging in as a hammock. Welcome to the Club, you are now a Liberal. Peace.

Fredd's Top 10 Guy Flicks

I'm quite weary of wallowing in the aftermath of the latest political blow our country has taken at the hands of the liberals currently ruling this land with their iron fist. I think I will stray back into the pop culture scene today. A few posts ago, I listed the Top 10 Chick Flicks and accordingly, being an equal opportunity sort, must also now include my Top 10 Guy Flicks. You may notice a substantial lack of representation of War films, as these are really a category unto themselves within the Guy flick genre. Criterion are simple to make the Top 10 Guy Flick list: 1) somebody's gotta die, 2) violence is mandatory, 3) love interests are kept to a minimum, and most importantly 4) most chicks gotta hate it. Without further ado, here it is, for whatever that's worth: 1. The Godfather. "What is it with men and The Godfather?" asks chick-flick diva Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'. Tom Hanks sets her straight: "It is the I Ching. It is the sum of all wisdom." Greatest line: 'Leave the gun. Take the canoli.' Lots of hits, kisses of death, you name it, these goombahs do it.

2. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach and Lee Van Cleef race to dig up Confederate gold in one of the cheesiest Spaghetti westerns ever produced. So bad, it's great. Sergio Leone's trade mark music in the background makes it work. Greatest line: 'When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.' Makes sense to me, but the chicks detest this one.

3. Animal House. A bunch of losers (on double secret probation) thumb their noses at Dean Wormer's dissolution of their dump of a fraternity and go on a tear through Eugene, Oregon (Fredd's home town), circa 1962. John Belusi is outstanding as 'Bluto' Blutarski, defacto leader of the pack. Greatest line: 'Thank you sir. May I have another...'

4. Rocky. All guys love this flick, as beat up, past his prime Rocky Balboa goes the distance with Apollo Creed. This one has a love interest (Adrian, portrayed by Talia Shire, sister of Francis Ford Copolla, aunt to Nicholas Cage), but I'll look the other way this time. Greatest line: Mickey (Burgess Meredith), Rocky's manager to Rocky during a work out: 'women weaken legs,' which only bolsters credibility of my no-love-interest criterium in a good guy flick.

5. The Road Warrior. Technically titled 'Mad Max II: The Road Warrior,' a very young Mel Gibson who had yet to lose his Aussie accent helps a community fend off the barbarians in the post Apocalyptic Australian outback. Lots of violence, lead by the leader of the barbarians, Lord Humongous, or variously introduced as 'The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla.' Hey, I thought it was good. Chicks hate it, of course.

6. Robocop. Peter Weller stars in the futuristic role of cop, killed in action in 21st century Detroit, but put back together with a cyborg body using his human brain. Great line (used many times): "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Chicks do not like this one at all. Lots of dead bodies, gun fights, it's all good.

7. The Unforgiven. Clint Eastwood heads on out to Big Whiskey to mete out justice and collect a bounty offered by a mutilated prostitute. Gene Hackman is great as Little Bill, the local sheriff who gets his in the end. Great line: Little Bill: 'You just shot an unarmed man!' Eastwood: 'Well, he shoulda armed himself.' Lots of killing, blood, violence, and again; it's all good.

8. Kelly's Heroes. Clint Eastwood leads a bunch of greedy GI's behind enemy lines to grab some unguarded Nazi gold. Lots of action, and Donald Sutherland does a good job playing weirdo 'Oddball,' a tank driver/future beatnik. Star studded, and ends on a catchy tune "Burning Bridges." Ordinarily, I would lump this into my Best War Flicks list, but the film transcends war and focuses on the human condition, such as it is.

9. Caddyshack. Bill Murray is great in this classic guy flick as the loser grounds keeper on a golf course, where oafish clod Rodney Dangerfield irks the hell out of snob Ted Knight. Chicks really, REALLY hate this one. Nobody dies, and that's a minor glitch I can overlook.

10. The Coneheads. Guys love movies with Chris Farley, and you can't go wrong with Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtin reliving their SNL glory days with this great comedy schtick of aliens from the planet Remulak getting stranded on earth and trying to fit in. Great scene: Baldar (Ackroyd) cleaning a lawn mower spark plug for his neighbor - great stuff.

Obama's next target for destruction after health care reform: Education?

The fate of our national economic structure hangs in the balance as a few congressional 'Blue Dogs' who still have some semblance of sanity remaining in their liberal lives waffle as to whether they want to throw themselves under the bus and vote yes on this dog of a health care reform legislation. With the grace of God they will come to their senses and vote no on this God awful senate bill hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles.

Pass or fail, the Democrats are looking at a massacre of historic proportions come this November at the ballot boxes. But will Obama take note of the Zeitgeist here? Of course not. He will simply move on to his next target for destruction: pick one of three, and that would be cap and trade legislation, legalizing illegals, or ramping up the destruction of our public schools.

All three are as destructive to the economy as anything that has come before Congress in our lifetimes, this current disastrous health care reform bill notwithstanding, and that's probably making the thugs in the White House giddy with excitement. I would put my money on our public education system as Obama's next victim.

Just this morning, I saw the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan (pictured above), throwing down the gauntlet of reform for this huge sector of wasted taxpayer money, and I see nothing but terrible things going forward. Sec. Duncan was formerly the CEO of the Chicago Public Schools prior to being tapped for the top education slot in the country. His credentials? Running an already awful bureaucracy which was knee deep into the red FURTHER into the red. Sounds like a rock solid resume to me.

Now he wants to run our already horrible public school system into bankruptcy, just like he did in Chicago. He is already gearing up for a run at pouring additional billions of YOUR money into this failed system, thinking that all we need to turn things around is more money shoveled into the incompetent hands of the teachers unions.

Obama sure did pick the right guy for the job. Kansas City public schools have been run into the ground by Democrats for the last 50 years, and are now faced with shuttering 50% of their schools through sheer incompetence and corruption. Now Arne Duncan wants to take the Kansas City public school model and apply it to the entire United States.

November can't come soon enough, as these guys are spending us into oblivion.

OK, WE ADMIT IT: WE CONSERVATIVES ARE EVIL

The jig is up. There's no use in denying it anymore. It is just too obvious to everyone with half a brain; we conservatives are evil. We can't hide our true natures any longer, so why keep up the charade?

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As conservatives, we love cutting off unemployment benefits just to see hard working (well, hard check cashing) Americans get thrown out into the streets, hopefully to languish in the gutters and die. Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky) let the cat out of the bag by standing on the floor of the Senate and admitting as much, damn him to hell. We conservatives always have our camcorders at the ready to film an eviction just to watch the tears, the crying, particularly of the women and children. It warms our hearts, and we can't pretend that it doesn't.

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That's what we're all about, and all of this rhetoric to the contrary, you know, about personal responsibility, the American Way, all of that is just a ruse. We are just flat out evil, and thrive on Schadenfreude (for those of you on the left, that means obtaining satisfaction from the misery of others).

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And about this health care reform squabble, anyone with even half a brain can see that we evil conservatives don't give a damn about the poor and middle class getting priced out of the system. We actually encourage more of that. That way, we can grab our camcorders and watch as uninsured Americans get sick and die. We just love that. And we can't deny that we do, it's all as clear as day for anyone to see.

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We need to stop all of the muddying of the waters, all of the obfuscation of our true intent: I'll just come right out and admit it: since we're evil, we want to take all the money from the poor Americans and keep it all in our wealthy personal off shore bank accounts. That way, we don't have to pay taxes, and get a double dip of evil: not only do the poor people get kicked into the gutters because we took their money, we get to watch them starve to death because we didn't pay any taxes on this stolen money that might have gone to social programs that would help them. A perfect evil 'two-fer' here, life just doesn't get any better for us evil conservatives.

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And don't get me started on social programs, damn those to hell, too. All they do is keep the poor people from starving to death in the gutter, and deprive us evil conservatives a spectacle to film with our camcorders, all the while howling with our evil laughter. There, I've said it, no more living a lie. We conservatives are as evil as the day is long, and we no longer want to keep our evil bottled up inside. We want to shout our evil ways to the world.

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It's who we are and everybody knows it. Pure evil.