Saturday, March 6, 2010

OK, WE ADMIT IT: WE CONSERVATIVES ARE EVIL

The jig is up. There's no use in denying it anymore. It is just too obvious to everyone with half a brain; we conservatives are evil. We can't hide our true natures any longer, so why keep up the charade?
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As conservatives, we love cutting off unemployment benefits just to see hard working (well, hard check cashing) Americans get thrown out into the streets, hopefully to languish in the gutters and die. Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky) let the cat out of the bag by standing on the floor of the Senate and admitting as much, damn him to hell. We conservatives always have our camcorders at the ready to film an eviction just to watch the tears, the crying, particularly of the women and children. It warms our hearts, and we can't pretend that it doesn't.
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That's what we're all about, and all of this rhetoric to the contrary, you know, about personal responsibility, the American Way, all of that is just a ruse. We are just flat out evil, and thrive on Schadenfreude (for those of you on the left, that means obtaining satisfaction from the misery of others).
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And about this health care reform squabble, anyone with even half a brain can see that we evil conservatives don't give a damn about the poor and middle class getting priced out of the system. We actually encourage more of that. That way, we can grab our camcorders and watch as uninsured Americans get sick and die. We just love that. And we can't deny that we do, it's all as clear as day for anyone to see.
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We need to stop all of the muddying of the waters, all of the obfuscation of our true intent: I'll just come right out and admit it: since we're evil, we want to take all the money from the poor Americans and keep it all in our wealthy personal off shore bank accounts. That way, we don't have to pay taxes, and get a double dip of evil: not only do the poor people get kicked into the gutters because we took their money, we get to watch them starve to death because we didn't pay any taxes on this stolen money that might have gone to social programs that would help them. A perfect evil 'two-fer' here, life just doesn't get any better for us evil conservatives.
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And don't get me started on social programs, damn those to hell, too. All they do is keep the poor people from starving to death in the gutter, and deprive us evil conservatives a spectacle to film with our camcorders, all the while howling with our evil laughter. There, I've said it, no more living a lie. We conservatives are as evil as the day is long, and we no longer want to keep our evil bottled up inside. We want to shout our evil ways to the world.
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It's who we are and everybody knows it. Pure evil.

35 comments:

Chris W said...

How dare you think that you should be able to take care of yourself and your loved ones before the collective. What do you think this is, a Constitutional Republic or something, Comrade?

Krystal said...

Funny thing is, I'm one of those uninsured Americans who is STILL opposed to the health care bill.

Guess I want to video tape and laugh at myself, eh?

Fredd said...

Chris W:

See, that's the thing with us evil folks, we're selfish, too.

It kinda comes with the territory.

Fredd said...

Krystal:

No, no need to record yourself once you are sick and near death (in the gutter), WE'LL do that once you're too weak to hit the record button.

The last thing you'll hear is 'bwaaa hah haah!!' (that's my phonetic version of our evil laugh)

Christopher said...

Fredd, Thank you for exposing us! That is unless you are competeing now with msnbc?

Are you trying to spill the beans with this? Really, if the lame-stream media picks up this blog, my God we will all be imprisoned!

Finally,,"From My Cold Dead Hands!"

Fredd said...

Sorry, Christopher.

I just couldn't live the lie anymore, the evil within me was longing to be free.

You should 'fess up, too, since you are as evil as they come (that's a compliment, BTW).

MSNBC has been onto us from the start, FYI. Their management team is brilliant, and we can't pull the wool over America's eyes anymore. MSNBC and CNN have had our numbers from the git go, and it's time we came out of the closet; yes, we are evil and proud of our evilness.

The_Kid said...

I just got a laser sight for my camcorder, and extra batteries. The kind made from endangered species brains.

I heard form a friend "There will be riots if the HC bill doesn't pass". I say Bring it On ! Bring IT ONNNN Cletus !

Fredd said...

Kid:

Cool, those endangered species brains really kick butt in camcorder batteries. Must be nice, living large like you do.

My camcorder batteries are second rate, they've got that low tech endangered species liver platform. Sometimes, when I'm filming a starving poor guy dying in the gutter, my battery goes dead and I miss recording the death rattle (that's the best part, we evil conservatives live for that).

Fuzzy Slippers said...

lmao (or should that be an evil cackle while rubbing my long pointy fingers together?)

Fredd said...

Fuzzy:

When discussion women conservatives, the evil cackle while rubbing the pointy fingers together is assumed. That, and the big, hairy wart on the big nose.

Silverfiddle said...

Good post, Fredd. You know, all sarc aside, a large liberal contingent believes this, lock stock and barrel. It is scary how cartoonish their thinking is.

Fredd said...

Silver:

I know they believe this, as ludicrous and sarcastic as the whole piece is, sadly and pathetically so, what an indictment of the liberal mindset.

Holger Awakens said...

Fredd,

Great post! LOL

Don't forget that War in Iraq - you know, the one that us evil conservatives waged so we could steal all of that Iraqi oil and ship it on home here to the Motherland so that we'd have that $0.79/gallon gasoline!

Oh wait....ummmm....nevermind

Fredd said...

Holger, us evil conservatives, most of us populating the Tri-lateral Commission, have stolen ALL the oil from every oil producing nation, and that pittance of oil we evilly swiped from Iraq is a mere drop in the bucket.

Our evil intent is not to sell our (the Tri-lateral Commission's) oil at 79 cents, we want to trickle supply out just enough so that Americans suffer and have to cut back on the amount of cans of pork and beans they buy, so that they can afford the $3.00/gal gas.


Bwah hhaa haaaaa!!

Fuzzy Slippers said...

big hairy wart, check (well, mine's on order from some very big and just as evil as we are company, but I'm expecting it any day now)

Fredd said...

Fuzzy:

Good for you, uh, er I mean evil for you! Keeping our business within the family, and making sure you order from evil companies, it's what makes us what we are.

Войска ПВО said...

Fredd, well-sarced. All I have to say is, "Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!"

Susannah said...

Ha!! Shout it from the mountaintops, eh?

Funny, Fredd~

Fredd said...

Войска ПВО :

I say screw' em, whether they can take a joke or not.

Which they can't.

Fredd said...

Susannah:

Yeah, from the mountain tops, after borrowing Al Sharpton's bullhorn.

Joe said...

I thought I had bumped my head twice and my tail once. Now I know it's just where the horns and tail are beginning to grow.

I'm Really Getting Fed Up said...

And we are Racists! Don't forget that!

Fredd said...

Fed Up:

Being evil to the bone really eliminates racism from the mix, since we evil conservatives hate absolutely everybody and everything equally. No group or special interest is above our contempt.

Although if you want to call us racists, we love that term, too, so feel free. Even though it would be inaccurate, we don't care. We like it.

Maggie Thornton said...

We'll completely embrace evil once we start paying for those abortions and refuse to even think about school vouchers.

It's a short road. We're almost there.

I'm glad you got it out there Fredd. It's so stressful keeping these things under wraps. Knowledge is freedom!

Fredd said...

Maggie:

Yes, very liberating, don't you think?

Yours in evil,

Fredd

Obammy is A Shammy said...

Pelosi is a millionaire moron. The people who voted for this %$$$ must be boobs also. This Congress is so corrupt, they have to go!It’s hard to believe someone as stupid as her is in government. We are in big trouble with the stupid commie kids running the show.

Krystal said...

Fredd, just make sure you put me in make-up first. I'm a bit vaaaaain like that.

Fredd said...

Krystal:

No make up for the final death throes, but we'll make sure the coroner slaps it on plenty thick...

LSP said...

Well said Fredd - evil? Of course, it's because we're fascists, obviously.

One Ticked Chick said...

It's true, Fredd. We're just evil-doers.

Fredd said...

Chick:

Yup, it's obvious to anyone. Flat out eeeeeeevil.

sig94 said...

It's wonderful to finally get recognition for all the hard work we do.

Well, excuse me for a minute. I simply have to gut that little orphan I've had my eye on. She'll look great on my mantle!

Fredd said...

Sig:

Ah, gutting orphans, it just warms the cockles of our hearts...(sigh)

The Wolfman's Chronicles said...

In short, the people have finally begun to wake up and realize how dangerous this narcisist in-cheif we have elected is. He is more worried about his and Miss Michelle's photo ops than actually doing his job. What a joke (bad though it may be) he is!!!

The people will prevail and it will begin with a blanket take-over of Congress and Senate in 2010. Then we will begin to have enough Conservative teeth to shut this communist President down and put the people back in their God-given role of ownership of this fine country.

May Obama fail at everything he attempts is my fervent prayer.... May God Bless America!!!! AMEN

Citizen68 said...

Mark Twain Nat'l Forest? Pave it! Baby Seals? Club them all! Who wants to go down to Herald Square with me to laugh at the homeless? .. Wow Fredd .. It's cathartic!