Conservatives have a patriotic duty to pay $6.00/gallon for gas

Yes, you read that correctly: it is our patriotic duty as American conservatives to buck up, bite the bullet and dig deep, deep down into our skinny wallets and cough up $6.00 per gallon for gasoline perhaps as early as the Labor Day weekend (and two months before election day).

I say this because there is no other single solitary motivating factor that will sink an incumbent president than John Q. Public getting gouged at the gas pump.  This assault on our wallets is not isolated to only rich, racist homophobic, intolerant Republicans. 

Far from it.

The dumbest, most imbecilic Democrat voter who makes a bag of hammers look like Einstein is screaming bloody murder even now at a measly $3.83 per gallon, when he has to pop for a full tank of gas to the tune of $70 or more.  Even though Obama has all of this hope and change going for him in the minds of these dumb Democrats, high gas prices hit home with everybody, regardless of party affiliation. 

Most Americans know the basics of oil supply and the prices of gasoline: the more oil out there, the  lower the prices.  Every action the Obama regime has taken so far has blocked increasing the domestic supply of oil, he has restricted drilling in the Gulf, has issued no new drilling leases on federal lands, and incredibly has blocked the construction of the Keystone pipeline that would transfer millions of barrels of oil from Canada to Texas. 

All of these moves to block oil exploration, discovery and extraction are factors in jacking up the price of gas at the pump, and even the dumbest of the dumb Democrats can see it.  There's no spinning what everybody faces each time they pull up to the pump: Obama is causing gas prices to skyrocket.

And with gas at $6/gallon, he will lose to whatever GOP candidate is on the ballot in November in an historic landslide of epic proportions.  With Obama destroying the economy and what is left of our country the way it was founded, any patriot worth his salt should support his ouster, at any cost.

And we conservatives want to ensure this eventuality, since nothing we say or do about any other issue will sway Democrats more than this single solitary fact: $6/gallon gas is a death blow to any incumbent in the White House. 

Even Barrack Hussein Obama.  It is our patriotic duty to see to it that Obama goes down in a landslide, and if it takes paying $6/gallon for gas, then I will cough it up all the while singing 'God Bless America.'

Then once a responsible adult (any GOP warm body) assumes the Oval Office, and starts doing the right things regarding oil prices, watch as prices plummet much like Obama's current approval ratings.

'Women's Studies' essay test

Please answer the following in essay form.  If your answers in any way suggests that patriarchal transgressors receive less than 5 years in a federal penitentiary, please explain your erroneous thought process in detail.

1.  A hard working woman does not get a promotion at her company, managed by evil patriarchal men who obviously have a gender bias in all management decisions.  The position went to a man, who by definition got the job because of gender bias.  Please explain which course of action the aggrieved woman should take: A) sue the biased patriarchal management in civil court for a minimum of $5,000,000 for sexual discrimination, or B) sue the biased evil patriarchal management in criminal court for sexual harassment.

2.  A hard working woman notices at her oppressive place of employment that while the women's restroom facility is labeled 'ladies', the opposite sex's facility is only labeled 'men', instead of a sign that correctly identifies the users of such facilities as 'patriarchal sexist pigs'.  Should the aggrieved woman: A) sue the patriarchal sexist pig management for $5,000,000 in civil court for encouraging a hostile work environment, or B) sue the pigs in criminal court for sexual harassment.

3.  A hard working woman overhears a male co-worker talking about the sewer construction outside their office building, and hears the chauvinist pig mention a 'manhole cover,' clearly a derogatory term applied to such a device as to demean women, instead of correctly calling it a 'personhole cover.' Should the aggrieved woman: A) file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to compel the male chauvinist pig to attend sensitivity training, or B) sue the company in civil court for $5,000,000 for encouraging a hostile work environment, or C) consult with a women's issue attorney to determine if the offending male chauvinist pig co-worker is subject to a criminal indictment, and accordingly seek imprisonment for the filthy scumbag. 

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here.  Please select only one of the alternatives listed in your answer, explain in detail why you support that alternative, and when you are through turn your papers in to Professor Mallory Stikituem.

Math test for liberals

Please answer the following math problems designed for the compassionate, caring and informed portion of the American public (also known as progressives or liberals).  Answers are below:

1.  If John has a welfare check in the amount of $577.83, Mary has a food stamp debit card with a $1,118.06 balance, and Bill has an unemployment check of $683.74, and they pooled their resources towards the purchase of the American Dream car, the Chevrolet Volt, what would be the balance due on their Chevy Volt if they applied their money as a down payment on the total value of the car of $46,855.90?

2.  By shutting down an evil polluting coal fired electric power plant in Springfield which powered 2,000 households, and diverting irrigation water from 75,000 acres of farmland in River City in order to save an endangered minnow's threatened habitat, how many citizens are  now free to move about the country in search of their dreams, instead of killing the earth with pollution and killing off Gaia's helpless creatures by their wicked human activities?

3.  Community A raised property taxes on all households with incomes above $74,250.00 (widely considered rich, and therefore evil) to 50% on each assessed dollar of property value.  According to the County assessor's office, doing so would generate $5 Billion dollars in additional revenue.  In a school district of 7,000 enrolled children, how many free breakfasts (that cost the district $9 per meal), lunches (that cost the district $15 per meal) and dinners (that cost the district $22 per meal) are now available to previously starving and wretched kids, now that all of this excess money that the rich evil people don't need has been wisely diverted into a deserving program?

ANSWERS:

1.  This question is tricky, but for the savvy among us progressives, the answer is clear: Mary's food stamp card is not technically eligible to fund non-food related activities.  But since the purchase will assist in saving the environment, all parties to this transaction will look the other way and condone the application of the entire balance to this worthwhile purchase that will save us all in the long run.

2.  The number of freed souls released to pursue happiness instead of evil is irrelevant: what is important is that the evil of pollution and killing of Gaia's creatures has been thwarted by good intentions.  That is all that matters in this question. 

3.  The information is incomplete in this question to form an answer.  Now that children are fed breakfast lunch and dinner, they really have no need to come home during the week, and accordingly additional funds must be obtained (presumably by raising the tax assessment to 75% of each dollar of property value from those rich SOB's) so that barracks can be built on the school site to accommodate the children during the school week.  They can visit their parents on weekends, but it might be brought up at the next school board meeting on extending the food program to the weekends as well.

All Utopians (and Democrats): stay out of my wallet

The world is not perfect, and never will be. 

Everyone with any common sense whatsoever knows this to be true.  Unfortunately, there are a whole crowd of people without common sense who believe that we can indeed make heaven on earth in our lifetimes.  They are called Utopians.  In the United States, they are also commonly referred to as Democrats as well, the terms are interchangeable. 

And to make things perfect here in the U.S., of course, we need every American to pitch in and do their part in eliminating every injustice, right every wrong and wipe every tear off of every face.  And again, in their efforts to achieve heaven on earth, these Utopians need resources.  And no, you foolish knaves, not THEIR OWN resources, perish the thought.  They need YOUR resources.  And the more of those resources that they can forcefully take from you through the coercive might of the government, the better, these Utopians (also called Democrats) figure.

And the Utopians (also known as Democrats) will sleep at night like babies in stealing your money: you see, it's for a good cause.  It will go to feed the hungry, quench the thirsty, house the homeless, clothe the naked, enlighten the ignorant, mobilize the immobile, shave the hairy, grow hair on the hairless, and on and on and on  and on and on and on and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on  and on and on and on ...............

As the old saying goes, 'the perfect is the enemy of the good.'  Utopians of course want things to be perfect. And in the U.S. of A. as founded, things are not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination.  There are poor people who don't live on oceanfront property, and who can't afford to sip Sauvignon Blanc and munch brie.  This is just not fair (according to Utopians, also known as Democrats).  It's a 'right' that everyone should enjoy the good life, and not just these stinkin' rich SOB's.

If we just tax these rich, oceanfront living, Sauvignon Blanc sipping, brie munching elites enough, and give the money forced from the greedy clutches of those rich bastards to those not so lucky in life, then we will have heaven on earth.  Things will be fair, life will be in balance.

And how did all of these Utopians get into positions of power such that they can mandate this wealth transfer?  They promised us all heaven on earth, and we believed them.  And we voted them into office. 

These Utopians have now been entrenched into various administrative parts of our government now since the Wilson administration, in addition to way too many of them holding elective office since good ol' Woodrow was calling the shots.  That's a long time, if you ask me.  And we STILL do not have heaven on earth, despite their best efforts.  Life is STILL not fair.  The world is STILL imperfect, despite the Utopians' (also known as Democrats) successful efforts of these last 90 years or so in transferring about 60 TRILLION DOLLARS from those who earned it to others who didn't.

Why do we keep voting these Utopians (also called Democrats) into office? 

Won't we ever learn?

Roman Catholics: 'when you lie down with dogs...."

The latest kerfuffle of the Obama administration: religious organizations must facilitate birth control and abortion access to all employees who request it, free of charge. 

Despite the fact that Roman Catholics are, on paper, opposed to birth control and abortion as a part of their faith.  But lately we are hearing Catholics cry bloody murder on this latest edict by Obama, wailing that in complying with the edict, they are doing so against the teachings of the church.

Right.  Let's get real, here.  The Catholic church has lost its moral authority long, long ago.  It has been nothing more than a business throughout most all of our lifetimes, and in reality the church cares not a whit about abortion or contraception.  All the Catholic executives (the Pope, College of Cardinals, and bishops throughout the world heading up diocesean territories) are truly interested in is the business aspects of the church: how is the Roman Catholic portfolio doing, how are the Roman Catholic collections coming, how are Roman Catholic monetary and real estate interests coming along.  Nothing more.

They have proven this over time by aligning themselves with every liberal position out there, including making their churches sanctuaries for illegal immigrants.  They truly need illegal immigrants to maintain their seats in the pews, and putting their pesos and dollars into the collection plate.  No other reason is apparent for this position that the church has taken against the laws of our land.

They have proven over time that they care more about money than weeding out the pedophiles running amok among their clergy.  They look the other way when these criminals indulge themselves in their sick and criminal behavior, because in taking action it will make the church look bad (and accordingly, some of the contributions to their collection plates will decline, and they can't have that).

Speaking of indulgences, recall that it was the principle of the church to allow sinners to pay an indulgence to the church (in monetary ways) to absolve the sinner and allow access to heaven.  What kind of institution could ever think of such chicanery?  The Catholic leaders have no shame, and never have.

They collaborated with Mussolini in Italy and with Adolph Hitler and the National Socialist Party in the 1930's and 1940's, looking the other way as the Third Reich and the Axis powers sacked and looted populations all around them.

It takes an enormous amount of gall to now cry foul, when the Roman Catholic church has been running afoul of the laws of every land that they have a presence in for as long as anyone can remember, shaking down the populations in exchange for entrance into heaven. But now that it's THEIR ox that is gored, Roman Catholics are suddenly indignant?


The Roman Catholic church has associated itself with bad actors throughout its existence.  As the old saying goes, when you lie down with dogs, you get fleas.  Or, to put it another way: when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.  Or perhaps: live by the sword, die by the sword.  Or best yet: 'as ye sow, so shall ye reap.'  Roman Catholic executives can probably understand that last one. 

Maybe.

Something rotten in Fishtown...

After the beating Charles Murray took by critics of his book 'The Bell Curve,' in which he cited racial differences in IQ, he took a different tack this time around in looking just at the culture differences in white America over the last 50 years.

Denounced as racists over the controversial findings in 'The Bell Curve,' Dr. Murray and his co-author the late Richard Herrnstein cited massive amounts of data that decidedly proved their thesis, to the outrage of the left.  In his new book 'Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010', Murray now points out the polarization of white classes over a 50 year span that is widening: the rich white folk living in 'Belmont' (Dr. Murray's rich enclave) have virtually nothing left in common with the poor folks living in Fishtown (Dr. Murray's ghetto for the white trash). He leaves out of the discussion any minority populations, and therefore avoids the cacophonous cries of 'racist' from the left this time around.

The disparate upper and lower class white cultures, Murray points out, have so drifted apart from their common roots in the Eisenhower era that the American way of life is coming apart as a result of this drift.  Before this happened, all whites valued marriage, religion and voter participation, and now only the rich white folks in Belmont still value this, but keep these values to themselves.

He points out that the Belmont folks get married just like everyone used to in polite society, but not so in Fishtown, where illegitimacy is rampant.  White folks in Belmont stay out of trouble, go to college and have jobs, while white Fishtowners end up in prison way too often, and subsist on food stamps and welfare.  The reason he cites is that the American industrial base has virtually collapsed, leaving Fishtown high and dry, while those in Belmont figured out a way to thrive despite all of our manufacturing jobs leaving the country.

The conclusion Murray draws is one of dire consequences, should this rift continue to widen, but his remedy is that the Belmont rich folk need to reach out to the Fishtown downtrodden and show them the way.

Huh?

My conclusion is somewhat different than Murrays, although the facts he presents are pretty solid: indeed Fishtown and Belmont don't see eye to eye these days.  However, nobody in Belmont is going to reach out and help anyone in Fishtown, lest they receive a beating or worse.  This reaching out recommended by Dr. Murray is ludicrous, and the only obvious way that the downtrodden white folk are ever going to get out of Fishtown is for the government to stop subsidizing their existence there. 

The folks in Belmont are living in Belmont for good reasons.  They are self motivated to do the right things, to get an education and to earn an honest living.  Many of them are prior Fishtown residents, but got some gumption to make things better for themselves.  And staying in Fishtown was not in the plans.  The government has thrown money at the Fishtowners to alleviate their existential problems, but has not required anything from them in return for public largess.  Accordingly, these down and out folks simply stay down and out.

Once the government turns off the public trough spigot, I think things will turn around in Fishtown, Dr. Murray.  A little tough love is in order, and not an outreach program from the producers in Belmont.

'Idiocracy' in the here and now

Many of the 14 people who actually watched the movie 'Idiocracy', the flop released in 2006, recall the plot: a dullard is given a top secret hibernation treatment, and things go awry and he wakes up 500 years into the future, where he is the smartest person on earth.  Seemingly, in those 500 years, people just got dumber and dumber, and in the fullness of time everybody on earth became idiots.

I find that plot entirely plausible in the here and now.  We just got Bureau of Labor Statistics figures putting the U.S. unemployment rate at 8.3% in January, 2012, down a fraction from December's reported 8.5% (also a dubious figure) despite the economy dropping around 2.5 million jobs from December to January.  The BLS cites 'seasonal adjustments' as the reason that this lower number makes any sense.

Sure, it makes sense to idiots.  No matter how you do the math, that kind of unemployment rate is simply nonsense.  But, fortunately for President Obama, the majority of voters in the U.S. seem satisfied with this number, and the Dow Jones Industrial Average shot up 150 points on this 'great' news.  I am surrounded by morons, cretins, neanderthals, idiots, simpletons and fools. 

I must be the smartest person in the U.S. right now.  I must be living a real live 'Idiocracy' in the here and now.

Just on its surface, that BLS figure of 8.3% is ludicrous.  Just look around you.  Step outside your own front door and take a look left, and then right: how many of your neighbors are unemployed?  How many 'For Sale' signs are there in the yards to the left and right of you?  A lot, I would wager.  And of those houses for sale in your neighborhood, how many of those are the result of foreclosures, owing to the previous owners' losing their jobs, and were subsequently no longer able to service their mortgages?  More than you might think, I would also wager.

Take a trip to your local mall.  Take a look around at how many vacancies there are in that mall.  A bunch, I would bet.  Does it feel like we are in a roaring recovery?  It sure doesn't to me.

But then again, since I am the smartest person in the U.S., I am out of touch with how things appear to the run of the mill idiot that believes the BLS figures, or anything President Obama says on anything.