Saturday, March 27, 2010

Fredd's Top 10 Guy Flicks

I'm quite weary of wallowing in the aftermath of the latest political blow our country has taken at the hands of the liberals currently ruling this land with their iron fist. I think I will stray back into the pop culture scene today. A few posts ago, I listed the Top 10 Chick Flicks and accordingly, being an equal opportunity sort, must also now include my Top 10 Guy Flicks. You may notice a substantial lack of representation of War films, as these are really a category unto themselves within the Guy flick genre. Criterion are simple to make the Top 10 Guy Flick list: 1) somebody's gotta die, 2) violence is mandatory, 3) love interests are kept to a minimum, and most importantly 4) most chicks gotta hate it. Without further ado, here it is, for whatever that's worth: 1. The Godfather. "What is it with men and The Godfather?" asks chick-flick diva Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'. Tom Hanks sets her straight: "It is the I Ching. It is the sum of all wisdom." Greatest line: 'Leave the gun. Take the canoli.' Lots of hits, kisses of death, you name it, these goombahs do it.

2. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach and Lee Van Cleef race to dig up Confederate gold in one of the cheesiest Spaghetti westerns ever produced. So bad, it's great. Sergio Leone's trade mark music in the background makes it work. Greatest line: 'When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.' Makes sense to me, but the chicks detest this one.
3. Animal House. A bunch of losers (on double secret probation) thumb their noses at Dean Wormer's dissolution of their dump of a fraternity and go on a tear through Eugene, Oregon (Fredd's home town), circa 1962. John Belusi is outstanding as 'Bluto' Blutarski, defacto leader of the pack. Greatest line: 'Thank you sir. May I have another...'
4. Rocky. All guys love this flick, as beat up, past his prime Rocky Balboa goes the distance with Apollo Creed. This one has a love interest (Adrian, portrayed by Talia Shire, sister of Francis Ford Copolla, aunt to Nicholas Cage), but I'll look the other way this time. Greatest line: Mickey (Burgess Meredith), Rocky's manager to Rocky during a work out: 'women weaken legs,' which only bolsters credibility of my no-love-interest criterium in a good guy flick.
5. The Road Warrior. Technically titled 'Mad Max II: The Road Warrior,' a very young Mel Gibson who had yet to lose his Aussie accent helps a community fend off the barbarians in the post Apocalyptic Australian outback. Lots of violence, lead by the leader of the barbarians, Lord Humongous, or variously introduced as 'The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla.' Hey, I thought it was good. Chicks hate it, of course.
6. Robocop. Peter Weller stars in the futuristic role of cop, killed in action in 21st century Detroit, but put back together with a cyborg body using his human brain. Great line (used many times): "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Chicks do not like this one at all. Lots of dead bodies, gun fights, it's all good.
7. The Unforgiven. Clint Eastwood heads on out to Big Whiskey to mete out justice and collect a bounty offered by a mutilated prostitute. Gene Hackman is great as Little Bill, the local sheriff who gets his in the end. Great line: Little Bill: 'You just shot an unarmed man!' Eastwood: 'Well, he shoulda armed himself.' Lots of killing, blood, violence, and again; it's all good.
8. Kelly's Heroes. Clint Eastwood leads a bunch of greedy GI's behind enemy lines to grab some unguarded Nazi gold. Lots of action, and Donald Sutherland does a good job playing weirdo 'Oddball,' a tank driver/future beatnik. Star studded, and ends on a catchy tune "Burning Bridges." Ordinarily, I would lump this into my Best War Flicks list, but the film transcends war and focuses on the human condition, such as it is.
9. Caddyshack. Bill Murray is great in this classic guy flick as the loser grounds keeper on a golf course, where oafish clod Rodney Dangerfield irks the hell out of snob Ted Knight. Chicks really, REALLY hate this one. Nobody dies, and that's a minor glitch I can overlook.
10. The Coneheads. Guys love movies with Chris Farley, and you can't go wrong with Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtin reliving their SNL glory days with this great comedy schtick of aliens from the planet Remulak getting stranded on earth and trying to fit in. Great scene: Baldar (Ackroyd) cleaning a lawn mower spark plug for his neighbor - great stuff.

40 comments:

Linda said...

Well, I haven't seen any of these, and don't plan on it. Not my kind of movies. I don't like chick flicks either.

One Ticked Chick said...

I think you and the Ticked Dude would get along just fine. Animal House is a fave, especially when Flounder inadvertently kills Neidermeyer's horse in Dean Wormer's office. Don't know why but that totally cracks me up.

Fredd said...

Linda: I wouldn't recommend ANY of these to any women I know. They will be guaranteed to hate them.

It's like suggesting a woman watch an old episode of The Three Stooges: it just ain't gonna happen, ever.

Fredd said...

Chick: Of course Ticked Dude likes this stuff, and Animal House is right up there with the best of them. I like John Belushi's 'zit' joke.

Cherie said...

I'm new to your blog. I love all our political stuff but this is pretty fun too.
I can attest that my husband does love all of these movies - especially anything with Clint Eastwooe, and I actually loved Robocop.

And you are dead on right about the Three Stooges - ha ha!

The_Kid said...

Fredd, I wouldn't argue a one of them. But I will add some.
Blazing Saddles - funniest movie ever followed by Animal House and Caddyshack.

Any Clint Eastwood movie except for a couple where he plays a circus sharpshooter and another "The Gauntlet".

Probably any Charles Bronson movie, especially Hard Times, Mr Majestic, Death Wish 1.

"Hombre" with Paul Newmann.

Most of the John Wayne movies, especially Big Jake and True Grit.

Dr Strangelove.

I liked the Terminator movies.

My God - Team America ! How you Rike At Hans Brix ! And they kill off a bunch of celebrity political dodo's.

Silverfiddle said...

I'm with ya on The good the bad and the ugly, The Unforgiven, and Kelly's Heroes (must be an Eastwood fan).

Women don't like the good the bad and the ugly because there's not enough talking.

My first grade daughter loved the Stooges. I'm raising her right!

aynzan said...

I have not watched any of the listed , but did enjoy Arnold's
'Commando'

Christopher said...

You just can't let go of Robocop can you?..lol

Just a note of interest, some other flics that are good (in my opinion) that the fairer sex detest are any having the words 'Star Trek' attached to them.

Krystal said...

BTW, you left out Porkey's! It's a classic!!!

Krystal said...

I actually LIKE some of these movies ... and I'm a woman!!! Of course most of my friends in high school were guys and I get along better with most men than I do most women ...

Chris W said...

Just about any Clint movie about the west, the war or Dirty Harry can go in this list.

The Blues Brothers should get an honorable mention along with Slapshot. 2 other great guy movies

Cheeseboy said...

I dig it. I'd also put "The Anchorman" on the list. My wife hated that most excellent movie.

tha malcontent said...

It's hard to beat the Godfather. And I don't think that anyone is going to for a long time. All three of them were Masterworks.


That being said, let me add:
Stand fast Israel, don't let the the Kenyan Commie bluff you. You have lots of support behind you here in the USA.

Fredd said...

Cherie: you loved Robocop? Hmmmm. Since you are a chick, and chicks are supposed to hate guy flicks, that might knock Robo down a peg or two on the guy list. I will have to go back and do the calculations again.....

Fredd said...

Kid:

Mel Brooks' stuff just never sat well with me. The guy's an idiot. Take 'Get Smart' for example. Enough said.

Eastwood: Yes, his old stuff is mostly aimed at guys. Things change, though. When he came out with "Bridges of Madison County," and more recently "Million Dollar Baby," I wrote him off.

Newman: 'Cool Hand Luke' was most excellent, and he could have made the list, but there just ain't enough room at the top. Ditto with Arnie Schwartenegger(Best line: 'I want your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.', name that flick.)

John Wayne: dated. But True Grit stands the test of guy time, for sure.

Dr. Strange Love: never cared much for Peter Sellers's stuff, but Slim Pickens was good in this one.

Bronson: pretty good guy stuff, but his flicks are so similarly scripted, they blur together and I can't pick out one from another.

Nobody whined about Steve McQueen in 'Papillion' not making the list?

Fredd said...

Silver:

Yeah, for whatever reason, my second grade daughter loves the Stooges, too. Go figure. She'll grow out of it, though, unlike guys, who never get tired of the 'how many fingers' gag. Or Curly's 'nyuk nyuk nyuk...'

Fredd said...

Christopher:

Yes, 'Robocop' will make everyone of my lists, except the Chick Flick list, and I believe I even found a way to sneak in the title on that one.

Star Trek: of course women hate all things Trek, but the nerd factor rates high, and accordingly knocks them out of the running on any serious guy flick list.

Fredd said...

Aynzan:

You validate my list, since one of the main criteria of the guy flick list is that chicks must hate them.

Of course you haven't seen any. And I would bet that rather than view a single one of thes guy flicks, you would opt instead to have red hot pokers jammed into your eyeballs.

Am I right?

Fredd said...

Krystal:

Porkey's? The humor is just too juvenile for me, nothing but poop jokes. Although, a good poop joke can make for good effect from time to time, but not an entire movie of them.

Fredd said...

Chris W:

Yeah, I agree about Clint, until he started getting all girly on us with 'Bridges of Madison County,' and 'Million Dollar Baby.'

Slapshot: pretty decent Newman flick, and the Hanson Bros. are awesome.

Blues Bros: yeah, I could see this one as a good runner up. Kinda dumb, though. Although dumb is good...

Fredd said...

Cheeseboy:

I cannot stand Will Ferrel, not in anything. He gives me the heebie jeebies watching anything he does.

He reminds me of Jerry Lewis's schtick, which is only appreciated in France.

Fredd said...

Mal:

I don't think the Israelis need our Commie In Chief's support. They pretty much can blow any of those pathetic, belligerent mid east potentates away whenever they want to, without Obama's blessing.

I would warrant a guess that they will be the ones who take out the nukes up mullahs in Iran. Single handedly.

The_Kid said...

Fredd, Blazing Saddles is the only Brooks flick I liked, and I loved it.
Still do.

Eastwood, Yep, all the later stuff is blaze'. Last good movie was one of the Dirty Harry's. Eiger Sanction is good.

WOnder why I didn't mention the Bond flicks. There are some good ones there - Goldfinger probably the best.

Cool Hand Luke is a great one. Depressing though.

Answer = Terminator One. And the part right after where he takes the shotgun off the bar owner then takes his sunglasses is good.

The_Kid said...

Just realized I got it wrong. It was T2

Fredd said...

Kid:

Correct: T2. Quick fingers on the correction.

And the Eiger Sanction, I forgot about that one. I just got back (at age 55, the old man on the mountain) from Grand Targhee, Wyoming skiing, knee braces, ibuprophen a go go, I should have remembered this one.

Joe said...

The Godfather was top notch on every level: story line; acting; visual effects.

Robocop was campy, but interesting.

The rest of them...nah...not for me.

Fredd said...

Joe:

Robo was indeed campy, much like the Batman movies. Godfather was ahead of its time and certainly stands the test of time.

I could have thrown in Robert Redford's 'Jeremiah Johnson,' lots of killin', scalpin' , horse thievin', it's all good.

Christopher said...

Fredd. May you and yours have a Happy and Blessed Easter!

commoncents said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
One Ticked Chick said...

Wrong post, right sentiment -- Happy Easter Fredd!

LSP said...

All good - Happy Easter!

William said...

Clint's new axiom "get off my lawn," puts my favorite libertarian Republican back in the game.

Blazing Saddles along with Animal House are two must see flics once a year! Never seen Robo Cop, but any John Wayne movie (I've gone through many of them in the past year or so) will do, as will great westerns from Jimmy Stewart.

Of course I love The Three Stooges! Only a liberal dude wouldn't like them!

Woob woob woob and nyuk nyuk yours,
Will

Fredd said...

Will: you have to put seeing 'Robocop' on your bucket list. It's a guy thing.

William said...

Fredd, I didn't know Eugene is your home town! I have lived in this "progressive" hell hole since '92. Can't wait to move to (probably) Texas. I notice you live in IL. I spent a couple of months in Naperville last year and enjoyed the place very much. But fortunately I was there in the spring and fall, when the weather was great. Problem is, Il is less free than Oregon according to Mercatus study from George Mason University. Any thoughts?

Fredd said...

William:

Illinois has been controlled by liberals for my entire life, while Oregon has gone lefty on us for merely most of my life.

Oregon has a ways to go before it reaches the levels of governmental incompetence and corruption that the Land of Lincoln has achieved.

Note that Phil Knight, CEO of Nike, has threatened to move his corporate HQ to Boise, ID, if the Oregon legislature jacks his corporate rates up any further.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

This list kicks butt simply by including The Coneheads. Great picks, Fredd!

Fredd said...

El: finally a gentleman with refinement and taste, agreeing that The Coneheads should make all great lists (they should).

Amusing Bunni said...

Great list, Fredd! I like these better than the chick flicks!

jessi said...

i'm a chick and totally love some of these movies. #1, #2, #4 and #5 are favorites for me. go figure !

and any clint eastwood movie is made of win.