Fredd's Top 10 Guy Flicks

I'm quite weary of wallowing in the aftermath of the latest political blow our country has taken at the hands of the liberals currently ruling this land with their iron fist. I think I will stray back into the pop culture scene today. A few posts ago, I listed the Top 10 Chick Flicks and accordingly, being an equal opportunity sort, must also now include my Top 10 Guy Flicks. You may notice a substantial lack of representation of War films, as these are really a category unto themselves within the Guy flick genre. Criterion are simple to make the Top 10 Guy Flick list: 1) somebody's gotta die, 2) violence is mandatory, 3) love interests are kept to a minimum, and most importantly 4) most chicks gotta hate it. Without further ado, here it is, for whatever that's worth: 1. The Godfather. "What is it with men and The Godfather?" asks chick-flick diva Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'. Tom Hanks sets her straight: "It is the I Ching. It is the sum of all wisdom." Greatest line: 'Leave the gun. Take the canoli.' Lots of hits, kisses of death, you name it, these goombahs do it.

2. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach and Lee Van Cleef race to dig up Confederate gold in one of the cheesiest Spaghetti westerns ever produced. So bad, it's great. Sergio Leone's trade mark music in the background makes it work. Greatest line: 'When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.' Makes sense to me, but the chicks detest this one.

3. Animal House. A bunch of losers (on double secret probation) thumb their noses at Dean Wormer's dissolution of their dump of a fraternity and go on a tear through Eugene, Oregon (Fredd's home town), circa 1962. John Belusi is outstanding as 'Bluto' Blutarski, defacto leader of the pack. Greatest line: 'Thank you sir. May I have another...'

4. Rocky. All guys love this flick, as beat up, past his prime Rocky Balboa goes the distance with Apollo Creed. This one has a love interest (Adrian, portrayed by Talia Shire, sister of Francis Ford Copolla, aunt to Nicholas Cage), but I'll look the other way this time. Greatest line: Mickey (Burgess Meredith), Rocky's manager to Rocky during a work out: 'women weaken legs,' which only bolsters credibility of my no-love-interest criterium in a good guy flick.

5. The Road Warrior. Technically titled 'Mad Max II: The Road Warrior,' a very young Mel Gibson who had yet to lose his Aussie accent helps a community fend off the barbarians in the post Apocalyptic Australian outback. Lots of violence, lead by the leader of the barbarians, Lord Humongous, or variously introduced as 'The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla.' Hey, I thought it was good. Chicks hate it, of course.

6. Robocop. Peter Weller stars in the futuristic role of cop, killed in action in 21st century Detroit, but put back together with a cyborg body using his human brain. Great line (used many times): "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Chicks do not like this one at all. Lots of dead bodies, gun fights, it's all good.

7. The Unforgiven. Clint Eastwood heads on out to Big Whiskey to mete out justice and collect a bounty offered by a mutilated prostitute. Gene Hackman is great as Little Bill, the local sheriff who gets his in the end. Great line: Little Bill: 'You just shot an unarmed man!' Eastwood: 'Well, he shoulda armed himself.' Lots of killing, blood, violence, and again; it's all good.

8. Kelly's Heroes. Clint Eastwood leads a bunch of greedy GI's behind enemy lines to grab some unguarded Nazi gold. Lots of action, and Donald Sutherland does a good job playing weirdo 'Oddball,' a tank driver/future beatnik. Star studded, and ends on a catchy tune "Burning Bridges." Ordinarily, I would lump this into my Best War Flicks list, but the film transcends war and focuses on the human condition, such as it is.

9. Caddyshack. Bill Murray is great in this classic guy flick as the loser grounds keeper on a golf course, where oafish clod Rodney Dangerfield irks the hell out of snob Ted Knight. Chicks really, REALLY hate this one. Nobody dies, and that's a minor glitch I can overlook.

10. The Coneheads. Guys love movies with Chris Farley, and you can't go wrong with Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtin reliving their SNL glory days with this great comedy schtick of aliens from the planet Remulak getting stranded on earth and trying to fit in. Great scene: Baldar (Ackroyd) cleaning a lawn mower spark plug for his neighbor - great stuff.

Obama's next target for destruction after health care reform: Education?

The fate of our national economic structure hangs in the balance as a few congressional 'Blue Dogs' who still have some semblance of sanity remaining in their liberal lives waffle as to whether they want to throw themselves under the bus and vote yes on this dog of a health care reform legislation. With the grace of God they will come to their senses and vote no on this God awful senate bill hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles.

Pass or fail, the Democrats are looking at a massacre of historic proportions come this November at the ballot boxes. But will Obama take note of the Zeitgeist here? Of course not. He will simply move on to his next target for destruction: pick one of three, and that would be cap and trade legislation, legalizing illegals, or ramping up the destruction of our public schools.

All three are as destructive to the economy as anything that has come before Congress in our lifetimes, this current disastrous health care reform bill notwithstanding, and that's probably making the thugs in the White House giddy with excitement. I would put my money on our public education system as Obama's next victim.

Just this morning, I saw the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan (pictured above), throwing down the gauntlet of reform for this huge sector of wasted taxpayer money, and I see nothing but terrible things going forward. Sec. Duncan was formerly the CEO of the Chicago Public Schools prior to being tapped for the top education slot in the country. His credentials? Running an already awful bureaucracy which was knee deep into the red FURTHER into the red. Sounds like a rock solid resume to me.

Now he wants to run our already horrible public school system into bankruptcy, just like he did in Chicago. He is already gearing up for a run at pouring additional billions of YOUR money into this failed system, thinking that all we need to turn things around is more money shoveled into the incompetent hands of the teachers unions.

Obama sure did pick the right guy for the job. Kansas City public schools have been run into the ground by Democrats for the last 50 years, and are now faced with shuttering 50% of their schools through sheer incompetence and corruption. Now Arne Duncan wants to take the Kansas City public school model and apply it to the entire United States.

November can't come soon enough, as these guys are spending us into oblivion.

OK, WE ADMIT IT: WE CONSERVATIVES ARE EVIL

The jig is up. There's no use in denying it anymore. It is just too obvious to everyone with half a brain; we conservatives are evil. We can't hide our true natures any longer, so why keep up the charade?

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As conservatives, we love cutting off unemployment benefits just to see hard working (well, hard check cashing) Americans get thrown out into the streets, hopefully to languish in the gutters and die. Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky) let the cat out of the bag by standing on the floor of the Senate and admitting as much, damn him to hell. We conservatives always have our camcorders at the ready to film an eviction just to watch the tears, the crying, particularly of the women and children. It warms our hearts, and we can't pretend that it doesn't.

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That's what we're all about, and all of this rhetoric to the contrary, you know, about personal responsibility, the American Way, all of that is just a ruse. We are just flat out evil, and thrive on Schadenfreude (for those of you on the left, that means obtaining satisfaction from the misery of others).

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And about this health care reform squabble, anyone with even half a brain can see that we evil conservatives don't give a damn about the poor and middle class getting priced out of the system. We actually encourage more of that. That way, we can grab our camcorders and watch as uninsured Americans get sick and die. We just love that. And we can't deny that we do, it's all as clear as day for anyone to see.

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We need to stop all of the muddying of the waters, all of the obfuscation of our true intent: I'll just come right out and admit it: since we're evil, we want to take all the money from the poor Americans and keep it all in our wealthy personal off shore bank accounts. That way, we don't have to pay taxes, and get a double dip of evil: not only do the poor people get kicked into the gutters because we took their money, we get to watch them starve to death because we didn't pay any taxes on this stolen money that might have gone to social programs that would help them. A perfect evil 'two-fer' here, life just doesn't get any better for us evil conservatives.

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And don't get me started on social programs, damn those to hell, too. All they do is keep the poor people from starving to death in the gutter, and deprive us evil conservatives a spectacle to film with our camcorders, all the while howling with our evil laughter. There, I've said it, no more living a lie. We conservatives are as evil as the day is long, and we no longer want to keep our evil bottled up inside. We want to shout our evil ways to the world.

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It's who we are and everybody knows it. Pure evil.