Politics, popular culture and Reagan conservatism spewed maybe once a week...or less
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Meaning of Life
The answer to the age old philosophical question, 'what is the meaning of life' is actually pretty simple, and you need not scale a Himalayan peak and ask a hermit guru to find this answer.
The answer? Don't be an asshole.
We were put here on this earth along with every other living creature for reasons known only to God. But while we're here, it was clearly not God's intention for us to use our lives in ways that are detrimental in the fullness of time to our environs, including our fellow creatures (human creatures included). God also put us at the top of the food chain, and the pursuit of nourishment is not detrimental to God's wishes, so you vegans can just save your breath on this last part, OK?
Assholes are a detriment to society, and in general come in varying degrees of assholiness. The low level asshole is the guy who flips a burning cigarette butt out of a moving car window. The high level assholes are sociopaths who care only of their hedonistic pursuits oblivious to the care or concerns of anyone else. These of course include (but are not limited to) murderers, rapists, arsonists, robbers, thieves and all other manner of felons.
And low level assholes can become high level assholes at random moments: the low level asshole who carelessly tossed the burning cigarette butt out of the car window becomes a high level asshole when that burning cigarette butt catches a dry countryside on fire, and subsequently burns out a community and perhaps in the end kills people.
The meaning of life comes into play when we all do our best to try and avoid being assholes. This entails doing the right thing when nobody is watching. Like the low level asshole drinking directly from the carton of milk after a few glances around to make sure the ol' ball and chain isn't watching. Can you imagine Pope John Paul II reaching into the refrigerator, taking a few looks left and right, and then chugging right from the carton? Nope, never happened. Not that the Pope ever had an 'ol' ball 'n' chain,' but I digress.
That's because Pope John Paul II knew that the meaning of life is to not be an asshole. Additionally, as a trained and professional theologian, the Pope also knew that this unwritten law is enforced in the end. When we all leave this earth, and stand before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, there is nothing we have ever done that escapes St. Peter's clipboard, the one with our name and photo ID at the top.
Everything we do, every act we commit whether it be low level asshole actions or worse, they all end up on St. Peters clipboard. In essence, nobody can do anything without someone watching.
Accordingly, the meaning of life should be abundantly clear: do the right thing, because someone is ALWAYS watching.