How does one know if they qualify to be a member of 'The Great Unwashed?' You know, those folks whose malodorous presence within smelling distance of our Ruling Class draws a wrinkled nose from the inconvenienced Elite who has the misfortune of sniffing the stench of such a lowly person.
Still confused as to who those Great Unwashed are? Or, heaven forbid, if you ARE one of the Great Unwashed? You know, the stinky folks who visit Washington and offend Sen. Harry Reid's nasal passages (remember, he literally said as much last year).
Well, don't you worry your pretty little (yet stinky) heads any further. Good ol' Fredd is here to help (it's just the kind of guy I am). Allow me to provide some criteria below that can be attributed to us Great Unwashed and assist you in determining your station in life (yes, 'us Great Unwashed,' as good ol' Fredd is a proud member of the "Great Unwashed,' and is even more proud of his malodorous, fetid stench in the presence of his 'betters.')
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DO YOU OWN A SMALL BUSINESS? Welcome to the Great Unwashed. You smelly folks are the backbone of the greatest economy on earth, and as such are held in complete and utter contempt by 'your betters.' You know, the Ruling Elites, who think of all money in the American economy as theirs, and since they are so much smarter (and better smelling), they know that doling out 'their' money to us Unwashed folk as they see fit is much better than allowing us to botch things up left to our own stinky devices. Just watch the video on Christophers' "Conservative Perspective" of a former small business owner ("Its-not-fair") Ken George explain how the Elites in our government suck away much of small business earnings in taxes, and your Great Unwashed and stinking blood will boil. Mine did.
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DID YOU GRADUATE FROM A PUBLIC UNIVERSITY? Like Sarah Palin, with her stinky B.S. from the University of Idaho. Oh, you smelly, lowly one. Don't you know that to be considered one of the Ruling Class, or part of Polite Society, you must hail from haloed institutions such as Bryn Mawr, Sarah Lawrence, or an Ivy League institution. The only use 'our betters' have for a diploma issued from the University of Oregon, or Arizona State is for wiping their Elite butts, and nothing more.
DO YOU LIVE IN A RED STATE? You know, like Wyoming, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Montana, or (GOD FORBID!) ....Texas!!? Well, then you most assuredly are a filthy, disgusting, stinking member of the Great Unwashed, and accordingly your fetid stench can be detected from as far away as Washington D.C., since your particularly offensive, foul, malodorous stink can waft for thousands of miles and still be detected by 'Your Betters' in the classier neighborhoods. Your ilk is particularly offensive to the Ruling Class, since you constantly return (shudder)...'Republicans' to office, although the Ruling Elites can often brainwash even the dirtiest, stinkiest of the malodorous GOP members into acquiescing to their thinking on the ways of the better smelling world of the Elites. While a RINO still stinks in the presence of our 'betters,' their stench is slightly less offensive when they vote for pork packages, ever increasing spending, etc. along with those who know better than us Great Unwashed dolts and idiots.
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Hopefully you are no longer confused as to your station in life. And please feel free to deposit any contraband bars of soap or bottles of shampoo at the door, and we will not ask any questions as to their origin: welcome to The Great Unwashed, c'mon in and set a spell....
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No need to take your shoes off.....
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18 comments:
I'm a misfit. I own a small business, graduated from a private school and live in a blue state. But I stink just as bad! Come 'er, take a whiff!
Hmm, don't own a bidness. Didn't gradeate from a Universityee,and don't live in no Red State.
Maybe I can be an unwashed secret agent.. ?
It really is upside down, Fredd. Good is called bad and bad is called good. Business owners who give us jobs are called greedy.
I just pray everybody stays fired up and refuses to listen to the inevitable Soros-funded BS barrage from the DNC that will rain down on us the nest two months.
Sig: fit into just one of the three, and you stink. Welcome to the club.
Kid:
Hmmmmm, you got potential, Kid. But that hillbilly accent has gotta go.
Repeat after me: 'fetch me some brie and caviar, and make it quick.' I know you can do it, Kid. We can definitely use you as an undercover washed sort.
If you don't mind smelling like Irish Spring (the horror...)
Silver: ain't that the truth. Work your fingers to the bone, pay your taxes, do the right thing and you are scum in the eyes of 'our betters' and they work like demons to tax you into oblivion.
I am guessing you saw that video on Christopher's site, stories like Ken George's drive me absolutely crazy....
How about this..
Tax cuts will save us while the Laffer curve will bury us ! Empower everyone to work and accomplish and achieve True Happiness !
I'd like a 2 lb lobster tail with drawn butter and 12 oz rib steak w/Bearnaise actually accompanied by a mature and biting chardonnay and amazingly creative asparagus based side, while I scheme for Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness for One and ALL as I gaze across the table at my most lovely and intelligent conservative female date for the evening. A lady who is either on the pill, or otherwise prepared to take whatever life can dish out and raise that child should events turn to love ala Strangers in the Night.
Just a thought.
Kid:
Trust me, stick with the 'brie' line, and deliver it harshly with a snarl on your lips and your nose in the air.
You'll be taken in by them in a heartbeat.
Although I do like your version with the 12 oz rib steak, lobster, drawn butter and all, but it's laying it on a little thick, dontcha think? These elites may be arrogant and detached, but they are for the most part not stupid. Evil. yes. Stupid, not so much.
You don't want to blow your cover.
Oh, Right Boss! said Agent 99. :)
I'm outside the USA ..so I dont think I qualify under the criteria described..I did enjoy reading your post and the comments..
Fredd,
I am proud to be unwashed (figuratively) as I was born Shanty Irish to begin with and this club certainly is much better company.
(Thanks for the link)
Christopher:
I never figured you for a brie and caviar guy, anyway.
And your video of Ken George still gives me the heebie jeebies about how out of control our government has gotten, and how detached from the Great Unwashed they all are. To force a guy like Ken out of business, he's the canary in the coal mine. If we continue to let them, these elites are going to eventually kill the goose that lays the golden eggs and hammer us ALL like they did Ken. WE BETTER WAKE UP!!
Aynzan:
Since you live in Saudi Arabia, I can't really advise you to comment one way or another on things cultural, given your current geopolitical situation.
Bunni:
Sorta like putting lipstick on a pig?
'lipstick on a pig!' batta-bing...
Yes, let's not forget our 'station' in life...And if one of the Great Unwashed were to -- horror of all horrors -- become an elected member of Congress (Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, anyone?)! Why, the world would disintegrate, & Carl Rove's hair would grow back!
Heaven forbid!
Susannah:
Just look at the reaction from Chas. Krauthammer and Karl Rove: unless OUR candidates are clean and pure as the wind driven snow, they are 'unelectable.'
And Charlie Rangel (D-NY) is as crooked as a dog's hind leg, and he can spend 40 years on the Hill.
I know, Fredd. I was surprised a little by Carl Rove, but not as much as by C. Krauthammer's reaction. That was disappointing...but hey, they can't be perfect all the time (unless they're thinking of running for office).
Susannah:
I was a bit surprised by both of their comments, Rove and Krauthammer. I love those guys to death, but they are missing the big picture:
RINO's = bad. Conservatives = good. Karl and Chuck have it wrong, in that they think that a liberal with an R behind their name wants to put the brakes on our march (now a sprint)toward socialism. They don't. Mike Castle doesn't. John McCain doesn't. Olympia Snow doesn't. Susan Collin's doesn't:
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