Still confused as to who those Great Unwashed are? Or, heaven forbid, if you ARE one of the Great Unwashed? You know, the stinky folks who visit Washington and offend Sen. Harry Reid's nasal passages (remember, he literally said as much last year).
Well, don't you worry your pretty little (yet stinky) heads any further. Good ol' Fredd is here to help (it's just the kind of guy I am). Allow me to provide some criteria below that can be attributed to us Great Unwashed and assist you in determining your station in life (yes, 'us Great Unwashed,' as good ol' Fredd is a proud member of the "Great Unwashed,' and is even more proud of his malodorous, fetid stench in the presence of his 'betters.')
DO YOU OWN A SMALL BUSINESS? Welcome to the Great Unwashed. You smelly folks are the backbone of the greatest economy on earth, and as such are held in complete and utter contempt by 'your betters.' You know, the Ruling Elites, who think of all money in the American economy as theirs, and since they are so much smarter (and better smelling), they know that doling out 'their' money to us Unwashed folk as they see fit is much better than allowing us to botch things up left to our own stinky devices. Just watch the video on Christophers' "Conservative Perspective" of a former small business owner ("Its-not-fair") Ken George explain how the Elites in our government suck away much of small business earnings in taxes, and your Great Unwashed and stinking blood will boil. Mine did.
DID YOU GRADUATE FROM A PUBLIC UNIVERSITY? Like Sarah Palin, with her stinky B.S. from the University of Idaho. Oh, you smelly, lowly one. Don't you know that to be considered one of the Ruling Class, or part of Polite Society, you must hail from haloed institutions such as Bryn Mawr, Sarah Lawrence, or an Ivy League institution. The only use 'our betters' have for a diploma issued from the University of Oregon, or Arizona State is for wiping their Elite butts, and nothing more.
DO YOU LIVE IN A RED STATE? You know, like Wyoming, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Montana, or (GOD FORBID!) ....Texas!!? Well, then you most assuredly are a filthy, disgusting, stinking member of the Great Unwashed, and accordingly your fetid stench can be detected from as far away as Washington D.C., since your particularly offensive, foul, malodorous stink can waft for thousands of miles and still be detected by 'Your Betters' in the classier neighborhoods. Your ilk is particularly offensive to the Ruling Class, since you constantly return (shudder)...'Republicans' to office, although the Ruling Elites can often brainwash even the dirtiest, stinkiest of the malodorous GOP members into acquiescing to their thinking on the ways of the better smelling world of the Elites. While a RINO still stinks in the presence of our 'betters,' their stench is slightly less offensive when they vote for pork packages, ever increasing spending, etc. along with those who know better than us Great Unwashed dolts and idiots.
Hopefully you are no longer confused as to your station in life. And please feel free to deposit any contraband bars of soap or bottles of shampoo at the door, and we will not ask any questions as to their origin: welcome to The Great Unwashed, c'mon in and set a spell....
No need to take your shoes off.....