You know how to pick 'em, right? You fare better in the office football pool than the next guy, we all know that. Now it's time to start making some money off of your God given talent: just pony up $200 bucks at Fan Duel (and they will magnanimously match that amount). Pick your players, stay under the salary cap and watch the games on Sunday. Then, simply wait for the huge check to show up.
If you fall for this stupidity, you are dumber than a bag of hammers. Fantasy football sites such as Fan Duel and Draft Kings are nothing more than the latest version of a lottery: the odds of you winning any payouts of big bucks are virtually zero. But the ads for these fantasy football sites, much like lotto ads, portray everybody drinking Dom Perignon champagne, driving around in Lamborghinis and Ducati Diavels, and lounging on the decks of opulent yachts. Yeah, that's going to be you if you participate in our scam, uh, er, exciting game.
So far, most states view these sites as games of skill, and not gambling. Their supporters argue that unlike poker or playing the lotto, significant skill is required to succeed: you must know the potential of all players in the NFL, and must mix and match their skills and yet keep under the salary cap, all knowledge based you see. Fantasy football is nothing like video poker, or playing the 'quick pick' lotto selection where you simply allow the computer to generate random selections. No, you see, the fantasy football gamer is completely different than those gambling losers who play the lotto; they are skilled.
If you believe that, you don't have the brains God gave a crow bar.
Fantasy football sites such as Fan Duel and Draft Kings are flat-out gambling sites. It requires no more skill than video poker: keep the aces, kings and queens, throw out anything that doesn't pair up, run in sequence or match suits, and hit the draw button and hope for the best.
In fantasy football, keep the productive QB (aces), kings and queens (productive running backs and receivers), throw out unproductive and expensive/hurt players (non-pairs, unsuited or sequenced cards). Sound similar? That's because it's EXACTLY the same game. Fantasy football is poker is lotto is horse racing. It's GAMBLING, you morons.
And who wins in gambling? THE HOUSE wins, idiot. How else do they generate those big checks for those precious few smiling winners lounging on the decks of those yachts? The house (fantasy football site owners) must consistently have better odds of keeping your money than you do, otherwise they go broke.
If not, there's no hope for you. Go ahead and sign up, pay your hard earned money into that site and sit back and wait for that huge check to show up. And while you're at it, go buy a few lotto tickets.
You will be waiting for that huge payday for a while. Quite awhile.
JAIL or……………WHAT?? - THIS FASCINATED ME!!! A Judge is offering shortened terms if the inmate has a vasectomy! Or birth control implants… What do you think of this?! Legal?...
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