Monday, October 18, 2010

What has America done for me lately?

I really want to know, exactly what HAS this country done for me lately? Has it put a new Lexus in my driveway? NO. Has it funded a beach front condo for me and my progeny to retire in? NO. And what about my kitchen, huh? It has needed new cabinets, floor covering and appliances since the Clinton administration. Where is my country when I need it?
I'll tell you where. Giving tax breaks and corporate welfare to all of those capitalist pig fat cats, instead of giving it to me. Sure, they provide me with food stamps, free prescription medicine and affordable housing for which I never have to service any of the loan (all stuff that should be a God Given RIGHT if you ask me), but I want MORE! Just living welfare check to welfare check keeps the wolves from the door, but when's the last time I had a 7-day eastern Caribbean cruise, huh? You know, where the destinations include St. Thomas and St. Maartin? NEVER, and is that fair? NO, I say!
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All I can swing on my welfare/unemployment payments are those lousy three day cruises out of Galveston, Texas, and they only go to Cancun. And now those rotten Republican bastards want to limit where I can use my unemployment debit card? Who are they to tell me I can't use it in the Luxor in Las Vegas, or on my lousy, three day western Caribbean cruise? Those fat cat Wall street types have lost touch with the people.
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Life is tough being me, let me tell you.
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With all of these Tea Parties going on, declaring war on taxpayer funded entitlement programs, you'd think they want me to starve and die in the gutter. We all know this is what they want, and this is why we all need to re-elect every sitting Democrat, and every Democrat challenger to any sitting, fat cat Republican up for re-election.
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Just say NO to these fat cat Republicans giving OUR money to their fat cat Wall Street buddies that can better be spent on improving OUR standard of living. All we got are these lousy 32" Sony LCD flat screens, when those fat cats are watching their football games on 50" LCD flat screens. Is that fair? NO, I say again!
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Vote Democrat this November, and save our cruises, our free housing and provide everyone with a God given right of a 50" LCD flat screen TV! This is what America should be doing for me, lately.
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(PS: if you believe any of this gibberish, you and all of us would be better off if you just stayed home on November 2nd, 2010 and let the grown ups decide who should hold public office during the 112th Congress).

17 comments:

Linda said...

I went on a cruise once to the Caribbean. It was fun, but I think the gov't owes me a refund. I paid for it myself, because I didn't think they would pay. How silly of me!

Fredd said...

Yeah, Linda, you got hosed on that one. State unemployment payments are currently en vogue as payment onboard Princess and Carnival cruise ships.

We've been on several, and like dummies, we paid for all of it ourselves as well. Doh!!!

Kathy G said...

Fredd,

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday. Great little place you have here.

Fredd said...

Kathy G:

No thanks, necessary, Kathy. I just can't help myself.

I'm still confused about kale, though.

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

Shit, even the terrorists at Gitmo have beach front housing due to those damn republicans and all I got is my Bible and gun!

Fredd said...

Christoper:

And of course, we gotta remember those four Uighurs lounging on the beaches of Bermuda, courtesy of the U.S. and the Brits.

Just keep clinging to those Bibles and guns, Christopher. The rest of us are....

sig94 said...

Fredd - Kale is one of nature's mind games involving spinach.

The_Kid said...

Well, they could always go on cruises off the coast of Somalia. I'd support that.

Joe said...

What? The government will pay for my cruise? I never knew!

Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!

I get to go on a cruise and you get to help pay for it!

Lucky you!

What could possibly be sweeter?

Where do I get my ticket?

WomanHonorThyself said...

ah yes I want my MTV!

Fredd said...

Kid:

Yeah, I get the kale thing. Just trying to figure out the point (if any) of the post by Kathy G (http://kathys-second-half.blogspot.com/2010/10/vegetation.html)

Fredd said...

Kid:

Sure, me too. I am always curious as to what these cruise ship lines are thinking when they steam up and down the African coast near Somalia, begging to be harrassed by pirates. Maybe they include pirate attacks as part of the shipboard activities, and people pay for that.

Fredd said...

Joe:

Sure, the government will get you on that boat, but you have to follow the rules:

1. Stop being responsible, and get yourself into government housing. Once there, you will be eligible for:

2. Food stamps. Not only will the government put a roof over your head, they will feed you, too. What a country!

3. Make sure you apply for welfare, and/or unemployment insurance. Since your roof over your head and food in your belly is covered, you can use this easy scratch for walking around money, to include going on cruises.

IMPORTANT NOTE: you gotta keep voting Democrats into office for this to work out, and you absolutely must ignore those evil Republicans howling about the massive hole of debt we're digging ourselves into by giving hard working American dollars to slacking, no account moochers.

Bon voyage, Joe. When you're in Cancun, smoke a Cuban Cohiba for me, won't you? You can use some of that Uncle Sam-provided walkin' around money to snag one, piece o' cake.

Fredd said...

WomanHonorThyself:

Ah, you date your self as well, with your 1985 Sting quote: 'I want my MTV.' Yes, that was Sting, and not Mark Knopfler, lead man of Dire Straits.

I liked Mark's prophetic lyrics that as you astutely point out are appropriate to this post that pined 'ah, that ain't workin', that's the way ya do it. Get your money for nothin' and your chicks for free.'

WomanHonorThyself said...

keep the fight Fredd..we shall overcome..did I date myself with that too?..lol

The_Kid said...

Fredd, I would read it a 'A Day in the Life'.

Joe said...

Whoa! That's an awful lot of strings attached! Here I thought I could just get on the boat and chill.

This letting the government do it all for you has its down side.

Who knew?